Does it count if you can’t remember?
In a recent survey held in the UK, almost one third of the vegetarians admitted to scoffing a secret meaty treat after a big night out.
From a pool of 1,800 vegos who were asked how often they eat meat:
- 34% said every time they get drunk on a night out
- 26% replied fairly often
- 22% said “Rarely”
- 18% said “Occasionally”
*Cue smug smile*
Now, I’m the first to admit to eating some pretty weird things after arriving home with one too many drinks under my belt. The siren’s song of a baked-bean-and-melted-cheese jaffle, or Pringles dipped in ice cream, or a mystery meat kebab (with extra garlic sauce), always seems impossible to ignore with a belly full of beer… and even more impossible to understand once the sun comes up.
But that’s the joy of being a non-vegetarian, you see.
Whilst ticking off my regrets of the night before (empty wallet, splitting headache, mystery objects in my handbag — assumed stolen), ‘eating meat’ isn’t listed.
I am a free woman to roam the neon-lit 3am drive-throughs, filling my gut with chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers and burritos and other strains of fake meat.
It’s my goddamn prerogative to fly high the flimsy yellow and orange cheeseburger wrapper flag of McDonald’s and shout from the rooftops — YES! I AM ENJOYING THIS DRUNKEN BURGER MORE THAN ANYTHING I’VE EVER EATEN!