A few weekends ago, I spent most of the afternoon crying big ugly tears while sitting in my car and frantically calling my close friends and family to tell them I was at breaking point. I’m done with being a bridesmaid and can safely say it has been ruining my life for the last short while.
I know many of you will cry “overreaction” and tell me how ungrateful I’m being. Being asked to be part of someone’s wedding day is a gift, a blessing, a sign of friendship. Yes, all of that I understand and believe to be true. However, I have been a bridesmaid in my life many times before and never, ever, have a felt this downtrodden.
And it was the dress shopping that broke me.
While having a brief conversation with my boss, we got onto the topic of the fact that I was due to be a bridesmaid and begin the task of looking for bridesmaid dresses with my close friend, the bride, and the rest of her bridal party.
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“There’s something degrading about being told what to wear as an adult, isn’t there?” said quizzed.
She’d hit the nail on the head and a switch in my head flicked. Yes, I thought, this is the exact problem I’m having. Including the weeks spent looking for wedding dresses, we were now descending into out eight week of shopping. All of the bridesmaids have to wear the same thing and nothing, according to the bride, is quite right.
We’ve spent weeks pouring over swatches, ringing designers, visiting bridal boutiques and formal dress shops. I’ve tried on more dresses than I can count and in every one I have felt uncomfortable and out of place. It has never been this hard in the past.
The last time I was a bridesmaid, another friend of mine allowed all of us to choose our own dresses as long as they were on the same colour palette. It worked like a charm. We purchased the first dress I tried on.