By MAMAMIA ROGUE
Alcohol makes you fat.
And gives you fungal infections OF THE SOUL. *Organ plays in minor key*
Well, look, maybe that last bit was made up. But, truth be told, there is a fair bit of science to back up those first two claims. The long-term physical effects of alcohol are easy to dismiss, yet they are kind of gobsmacking.
Alcohol speeds up the ageing process substantially (from an aesthetic perspective, not from an actual time travel-y, subverting the laws of temporality-y perspective), causing deeper wrinkles, a ruddy complexion and weight gain. In fact, excessive alcohol consumption could leave you looking a lot like that dame on the right: