lifestyle

Festive Spirit: How to dress for excess eating.

Let’s just admit something right here and now: we will ALL be overeating over the Christmas holidays.

I am so bored of these articles trying to forewarn me against the perils of Christmas day overindulgence. “Freeze your leftovers to avoid picking the next day”, they tell me. “Commit yourself to a One Plate Policy when it comes to your main meal”, preach others.

Well, bugger that.

For 364 days in the year I pretend to enjoy my green smoothies, boiled eggs and rice cakes that taste like newspaper. But NOT CHRISTMAS.

It’s the one day I look forward to eating to such excess that I pass out immediately after in a comatose state of fullness, only to battle severe nausea for the rest of the day whilst propping myself on pillows next to the pool like a groaning dagwood dog.

Are you with me, sisters?

Yes?

Well hang on to your stretchy active wear, because I’ve compiled a list of How To Dress For Excess Eating.

OUR TOP 5 ITEMS FOR FESTIVE EATING

ITEM #1: The Drawstring Pants

These pants will take you on the journey from normal stomach size at 10am to bloated third trimester bulge at 7pm. Pretty in peach, you will manage to look respectable the whole day – just pair with a simple singlet and a jazzy sandal, and you’re set to tackle the dessert table.

SUSSANS ‘LUXE TIE WAIST PANT’ – $99.95

Shop here.

Item #2: The Maxi Dress

This one is a no brainer, people: it’s loose around the belly. It’s pleated for easy expansion. It’s dark to hide the stains. And you know what? It’s rather stylish, too – even Mum will approve.

ASOS ‘VILA’ PLEATED MAXI DRESS – $138.00

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Shop here.

Item #3: The Flares

These are the ultimate in eatin’ pants. Soft and flowy, they sit high up on the waist to avoid uncomfortable digging after your third serve of Christmas pudding, yet nail that boho-chic when paired with a flowy blouse and sandals.

SPORTSGIRL ‘FREE SPIRIT’ WIDE LEGGED PANTS – $99.95

Shop here.

Item #4: The Origami Shorts

I don’t know what sick genius designed these shorts, but I feel like we are totally on the same page when it comes to festive eating techniques. These shorts quite literally fold in and out around the waist, like some kind of magical origami pants.

SEED WRAP STRIPE SHORT – $129.95

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Item #5: The Splurge Kaftan

Ok, we admit. This is fairly luxe for a one-off eatathon. But if you have a fancy-pants Christmas event that needs something a little bit special, a beautiful kaftan is it. The stunning new season Camilla kaftans are all able to be worn at least two different ways. Long sleeves? Spaghetti straps? YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.

CAMILLA ‘ROAD TO SEVILLE’ LACE UP KAFTAN – $539.00

Shop it here.

Failing all of the above, just cut a hole in a sheet and slip in over your head. Aunty Deb won’t be happy, but hey – at least you can make the most of the dessert cheese platter.

Bon appétit!

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