It’s pretty much an unwritten rule that you get one miracle each and every Christmas. Don’t ask me where I heard or read that, just trust me.
If you don’t get a miracle, then you get at least one present that makes you totally, unequivocally joyful.
This year we happened to got both, because Donald “Grab Them By The Pussy” Trump, the 45th and current President of the United States, has issued a grovelling apology to women.
Okay, so that may not be exactly how Trump sees it… but he did say the words. He just… didn’t say them in the right order.
You see, as an early Christmas present for her feminist pals, a journalist and executive producer of Divided States of Women at Vox Media decided that in a year where men seemed to be issuing all sorts of apologies, it’s about time Trump made one too.
LISTEN: After Trump’s first year in office, the family (Ivanka, Jared, and Donald Jr.) are in a very different place to where they were meant to be. Mia Freedman and Chas Licciardello discuss. Post continues after audio…
“There’s one particular person I think we all need an apology from,” Liz Plank says in a video posted to her Facebook page, Feminist Fabulous.
“So since he hasn’t done it, we decided to say it for him.”
Enter this wonderful masterpiece, set to the Christmas-y tones of Jingle Bells:
The clip mashes together Trump’s many interviews, speeches and addresses to create what is really, one of the best apologies we have ever heard.
“Today I’m announcing that, I’m sorry. I’ve been very mean to women,” Trump’s ‘apology’ begins.
“I feel terrible and I feel so sad. I’m sorry for degrading women. I have not respected women. I am officially apologising.
“The truth is, I’m very, very, very, very, very, very, very afraid of women. And I attack women because I’m scared of them.
"I'm not a good president and any woman would do a better job than me. In all fairness Hillary should be president."
It may not be a real, genuine apology (yes, it's actual fake news) but it's given us enough giggles to last us through to Christmas.
And hey, there's still three days to go, so perhaps we can still get our Christmas miracle - aka a real apology from Mr. Trump - after all.
Listen to the latest episode of Tell Me It's Going To Be Okay, where Mia Freedman and Chas Licciardello take stock on Trump's year: