It’s a good day, Australia.
It’s a bloody good day.
Because today, once and for all, we can test whether former Bachelorette Sam Frost is REALLY ready to become a mother.
And we’re gonna do it with an egg. This egg, to be precise.
Yep, in between breaking up with Sasha Mielczarek then getting back together then getting engaged then falling pregnant and then breaking up again (and that’s all before lunchtime), Sam is babysitting the egg to prove her WOMYN SKILLZ.
Thank. Freakin’. Goodness. It’s about time we knew if her ovaries were up to scratch.
According to WeCreateFictitiousStories.com, at 1.07pm the 27-year-old was seen nursing the egg while sitting at a cafe opposite Dave Billsborrow, who – GASP – was also a contestant on the same TV show where she met Sasha.
Given she is a possessor of ovaries and he a possessor of dangly bits, we can only assume something ~shady~ is going on between them. A
person I made up source close to the pair confirmed these baseless suspicions as true.
It's super important we mention that while nursing the egg, Sam was wearing light makeup, a black singlet, and sunglasses. Considering she was seated at a table and our paparazzo couldn't see the lower half of her body, by the power of assumption we can exclusively reveal she was completely pants-less.
We don't know what Dave Billsborrow wore. That's not important... obviously.
Sam's about to push into her late twenties, so now is the perfect time to test her worth.
Ah, here's to another sunny day in tabloid magazine land.
Note: This is a satirical article. Obviously.