An open letter, to my ex-wife on the first day as your ex.
Well, today our 20 year marriage ended in courtroom 2-D.
To be honest, it was surreal. When we came to this decision months ago, I felt like the world had ended. In truth, I was afraid of what life would look like now without you. But now, standing here, it seems much more survivable.
I read a German proverb once that said, “Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.” And I was truly afraid of life without you. You have been the one constant person in my life for so long. In fact, longer than any other person on earth. You are the voice in my head. I owe you so much for these last 20 years.
So I thought I’d let you know a few things on this first day of our new relationship. I know it’s weird writing this to you on this day, but life speeds by and there is simply no time to leave the right words unspoken. So allow me to share a few of my thoughts and feelings from today with you…
You deserve an award for making it 20 years with a man like me.
We both know I’m not easy to love. I’m beyond driven, don’t sleep much, make jokes in every situation, and you could always count on me to misbehave. I have taken more then my fair share of risks over our years together. That’s the problem with being married to a person who pursues dreams.
You get dragged into adventures you never signed up for. I realised too late that many of my dreams became nightmare situations for you. My passions have always driven me. And that my heart is all about pursuing new things and bold plans.
In many ways, my life is like a room full of dynamite… and I sit in that room playing with matches far too often. But hang in there… you were always ready with your charm and classy manners to correct my brash nature and follow me into another venture.
I realise now that even though we had some real success, it took a toll on those I loved. For that I am truly sorry.