It reads almost like satire. Beyonce, Queen of the entertainment industry and perhaps the whole world, bitten – on the face, no less – by an anonymous high-profile actress at a Hollywood party.
What a weird thing to do, what a strange story to tell.
Actress Tiffany Haddish, of Girls Trip fame, told Caity Weaver at GQ last December the unnamed actress bit the Queen of the world without warning or fanfare.
“There was this actress there that’s just, like, doing the mostest.
“She bit Beyoncé in the face.
“So Beyoncé stormed away,” Haddish told Weaver, “went up to Jay-Z, and was like, ‘Jay! Come here! This bitch—’ and snatched him. They went to the back of the room. I was like, ‘What just happened?’ And Beyoncé’s friend walked up and was like, ‘Can you believe this bitch just bit Beyoncé?’ ”
“And so then… a lot of things happened.
“Near the end of the party, Beyoncé’s at the bar, so I said to Beyoncé, ‘Did she really bite you?’ She was like, ‘Yeah.’ I was like, ‘She gonna get her ass beat tonight.’ She was like, ‘Tiffany, no. Don’t do that. That bitch is on drugs. She not even drunk. The bitch is on drugs. She not like that all the time. Just chill.’ ”
No, really. A true story and one for the ages.
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Naturally, the ensuing conversation was adorned with its own hashtag: #WhoBitBeyonce.
So who actually bit Beyonce? We present some cases, covered in baseless facts and outlandish speculation.
We’re starting, of course, with the odds. According to bookmaker Paddy Power, Dunham is the favourite to be unveiled as Beyonce Biter, with odds at 2/1.