So, this might be the most demanding 1st birthday invite ever.

Think kids’ birthdays are stressful to throw? This party could be a nightmare to attend.

We’ve all been there. You buy a kid a present and they have more fun with the box than with the toy. Kids don’t give a shit how much time or money you spent. They just want to play. Shoelaces, stubby coolers, an old rubber thong, whatever the dog is eating. The younger they are, the easier it is. Right?


Reddit has unearthed an email from some parents who want very specific gifts for their one year old. And if you’re not prepared to get with the program, they want you to attach receipts so they can exchange your presents (when they’ve exchanged your presents in the past without receipts, they’ve only been about to get 50% store credit which is such a bummer).

Have a read (post continues after the letter):

OK, so the whole letter is a shocker.

There are some highlights, though.

“If you are unable to get these items please let us know so that we can buy them right away for him.” Yes, because junior has a red hot urgent need for that Fill in the Missing Cheerios book.

“Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping”. OK, so this is the reason why my mum didn’t let me write my name in bubble writing on the back of my canvas backpack in the 80s, but it isn’t the number one cause of child abduction and it’s an insult to parents of children everywhere to suggest that they could have done something to prevent their children from being taken (rant over).

Don’t buy books because he hates it when we try reading to him. THAT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE READING YOUR KID BOOKS ABOUT THOSE SMALL RED SAUSAGES. OK, so I know that the Cheerios in the book that they are referring to are not these:

But still: Keep reading to your kids. Always. If they don’t like it, it isn’t because they don’t love the plot. They just need to hear your voice and be stimulated by language.

To be fair, it must be hard to be given things you don’t need, no matter what your age. But it doesn’t hurt to be graceful about it and donate the things you don’t need.

Now, this letter was found on the internet, and the internet is filled with lies, so it might well be a fake. But, between you and me, we know enough exacting parents to know that this might be the real deal.

What do you think? Does this sound like a parent you know?

    00:00 / ???