This article deals with stillbirth and may be triggering for some readers.
My partner and I found out we were pregnant a blip after meeting. I remember the moment I told him, and his immediate response that he would “support whatever I wanted to do”.
Within a week, we made the biggest commitment of each of our lives – to bring our baby into the world together. It wasn’t a decision made lightly, we acknowledged the gravitas, but were firm on the notion that this was a life that needed to be lived.
I vividly remember the moment James said to me, “I really want this if you really want this”.
I fell into mum mode, watching everything I consumed (goodbye social smoking and red wine), tracking every exciting moment in a baby diary, a few morning voms and all-day queasiness, baby scans, checkups with our GP who felt like an extension of us (man, I miss that guy), researching overpriced prams, weekend visits to Baby Bunting much to James’ dismay, and telling our friends and family, even early on in the piece.
I just want to take a moment to say, that last part is the part of my pregnancy story I would never change, because without the support of family and my closest friends, I don’t know I would have survived what was to come. I’m a big advocate for telling the 12 week ‘rule’ to get effed because I was a mum the day I found out we would be having a baby.
As a side note, I also acknowledge this identity can come for women even before then.