By EMILY DE SILVA
Her: My snuggy wuggy, can I have a kissy-wissy?
Me: No, get fuc—oh, sorry, you weren’t talking to me? Well, I’m in the near vicinity and your pathetic baby talk just made me vomit in my mouth.
Don’t you wish you could say that the next time you’re privy to that idiotic, cringe-worthy baby talk between couples?
When women, and friends especially (or at least people you are obliged to see on a regular basis) dabble in that saccharine sweet, high-pitched baby talk – it’s embarrassing and it makes everyone uncomfortable.
I wouldn’t have a problem with it if it stayed within the confines of a relationship behind closed doors and wasn’t out there in public representing womankind as downright idiotic. But it is and you need to stop.
I just don’t understand why it is that perfectly articulate, intelligent, highly-educated women choose to talk like a baby-waby around men (see how annoying it is?). I mean, it’s presumably because by dumbing-down and reverting back to the mental state of a toddler they’re making their man feel superior. That or they’re trying to appeal to a man who digs that whole women are the weaker-sex and Me, Tarzan bullsh*t.
But ladies? You are bringing the whole feminist establishment down.
And also? Just don’t.
It’s such an irritating trait that psychologists have spent time studying the phenomenon. Their research found “experimental evidence that women speak in a higher voice pitch to men they find attractive.”