Married At First Sight's Dean has a new girlfriend. Maybe. We think. We're not quite sure.

Ha. Just when you thought you’d escaped all the drah-mah Married At First Sight has to offer.

Instagram almost shut down overnight after Dean Wells posted a photo of him CUDDLING ANOTHER WOMAN. This is apparently something we should all feel VERY STRONGLY ABOUT and be EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN.

Sorry, I’ll stop yelling.

Ze lady in question just so happens to be tagged in Deano’s pic (thanks for saving me 10 minutes of stalking, pal) and goes by the name ‘Elouise Bissett’. We know she’s fancy because she has an extra ‘U’ thrown in there and is wearing a checked coat in her first photo, which the fashionistas of the office tell me is “in”.

EloUise and Dean are cuddling up a storm rather unnecessarily here. I mean, they’re at a restaurant where I presume lying on each other isn’t mandatory, which leads me to assume two things:

1. They are madly in love
2. I wasted my university degree

So, as I said, people lost their bloody minds – AKA an ever-so-slightly higher number of people commented on Dean’s photo than usual.

And here we are.

Caught up with these nutters tonite. Good times were had. @justin_mafs your eyes look a little bit possessed mate. Have you got an inspirational quote about that? Haha. @ashleyairvin @bonditobali @nasser_mafs #mafs #wifeswap #coconutoil

A post shared by Dean Wells (@deanwells) on Apr 4, 2018 at 9:24am PDT

After seeing a handful of die-hard/we-refuse-to-let-go fans comment (I get it, The Bachelor In Paradise is no MAFS), Deany boy decided to clear things up.

“Ok so just to clear everything up, the girl with me in this photo is a very good friend of mine and has been for years but we are not couple and not dating,” the 40-year-old kill-joy wrote in a comment.

Righto, mate. “Very good friends” it is.

I pose with my very good male friends like this all the time, too. (I never pose with my very good male friends like this. ‘Cos that’d be weird.)

I’ll just leave this here without any further comment:

Listen: Is Married At First Sight a teeny tiny bit problematic?