If you grew up watching Dawson’s Creek, you might occasionally catch yourself humming ‘I Don’t Want to Wait’ and daydreaming about scaling up the side of some nerdy guy’s house.
Of course, once you climb in the window you’ll look at his movie posters and talk in sentences normal 15-year-olds would never actually understand, while wearing tencel jeans and roll neck jumpers.
It’s easy to look back on our favourite TV shows and think they were all good times, 90s soundtracks, and thin eyebrows – but they were also kind of ridiculous… and problematic… and hilarious, especially when they weren’t meant to be.
Those crazy kids from the creek got up to some weird sh*t. Here’s just some of the plot lines that would have you saying ‘Oh, hell no’ if Dawson’s Creek was released in 2017:
Jen was not 15
When Jen turned up in Capeside in Season One she was just 15 years old… apparently.
But… but… she had basically been kicked out of New York for taking too many drugs and sleeping with too many people.
When I was 15, I was still having sleepovers and making up dance routines to Spice Girl songs (I still am, honestly).
Jen was 30. She was at least 30.
Pacey’s affair with his teacher
In the first season of Dawson’s Creek, Pacey was having sex with his English teacher, Tamara Jacobs.
This was NOT an issue in good ole’ Capeside. Their scenes together were… romantic (vom) and neither the teacher nor Pacey faced any kind of repercussions for what was basically statutory rape.
It wasn’t even a moral lesson dressed up as a plot line, it was just this creepy thing that happened. The general consensus in the creek was, “Here’s a thing that’s happened and we’re fine with it. WE’RE FINE.”
Listen: The most ridiculous things that happened on our teenage TV shows. Post continues…
Dawson and the strippers
In Season Three Dawson takes a stripper out on his dad’s boat. While said stripper is going down on Dawson, he crashes said dad’s boat. Oops.
So Dawson and Pacey throw a stripper party at Dawson’s house to raise the $3000 they needed to repair the boat.
Firstly, how? And secondly, why are there so many strippers in a small town that seems to be made up of four teenagers, a grandmother and a creek?
The 100-year storm
When Pacey and Jen get caught in a 100-year storm, Dawson and Joey don’t alert the authorities, or even, erm, tell their parents – they just steal a rich man’s boat and go out into the ocean and rescue them.
This would not happen in real life because teenagers are not heroes, they are teenagers and they’re supposed to be taking selfies and posting them on Instagram, not taking on the choppy seas like some kind of Moby Dick character.
You may have noticed there’s a lot of boat action in the creek. In Season Three Pacey reveals to Joey that he’s restoring an old boat which he called ‘True Love’ – because that’s something teenage boys do. Later on Pacey and Joey will spend a summer on the boat… by themselves… in the ocean… because that’s also something teenagers do.
The night in Kmart
In Season Six Joey and Pacey get locked in a Kmart overnight so they can talk about their feelings with lots of department store props around them. Because it would be way too simple to have them call each other on the phone.
Getting locked in a department store overnight is not something that happens outside of teen shows. Trust me – I’ve tried it.
Jack comes out
When Jack came out in Season Three it was actually pretty groundbreaking television at the time. Especially when the creek crew organised a separate prom in protest of Jack not being able to attend the real prom with his same-sex date.
However, the pro-equality stance of Capeside was kind of ruined by Pacey constantly making gay jokes with his brother. It was very, erm, 90s of him.
Andie fakes a sexual assault
After Pacey breaks up with Andie, she fakes a sexual assault to get him back (oh honey, no). It doesn’t work and they eventually go on to become friends.
Let’s just remember this was the 90s and people weren’t very woke and they had very thin eyebrows, OK?
Have we missed anything? Tell us about it in the comments below.
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