Have you just made your transition into Single-Sally-Ville? Welcome.
Like me, who’s been off the market for the last six years, you might have realised that shit has changed in the dating world. Majorly. And I’ve learnt a few things about the weird and wonderful single life in 2017 that I’d love to share with you.
So, apart from every person you know desperately thinking about who they know that’s STILL single for them to partner you with – cause that’s all it takes, right? You’re single, he’s single, perfect match! – here are some new trends that are just, well, screwed up.
‘Withholding the Dots’
You know the ones you watch and watch as they rotate around on your screen when someone is writing back to a message? Apparently, if someone sees these up on the screen too long, you come across as an over-thinker or as too eager. So, people are withholding the dots. Here’s how…
According to my single friends, the new thing is to curate the message in the ‘Notes’ section first and then copy and paste the message into the message chain, therefore cutting down on dot time. Leaving the message recipient to think how cool and calm you are about the whole thing. I didn’t even think about this I just typed it out and hit send! WHO HAS THE TIME?! Can’t we all just say what we think and let the chips fall where they may?
This one kills me. In a nutshell, the ‘bread crumber’ will send you flirty little messages, maybe a little DM action or the occasional Instagram like to keep you on the hook and interested just enough, but will never actually make a concrete move or commit to any plans. At the start you could be fooled into thinking, like me, they’re taking it slow; it’s a new world of technology.
But, frankly, I think they want their egos stroked by having someone interested in them for a few minutes without having to do any of the actual work. Eg. Put their balls on the line and ask you the hell out. (As a side note, I am always happy to put my boobs on the line and ask a guy out, although, I’ve found this still doesn’t work on the true bread crumber.) This is a modern He’s just not that into you. Bye, Felicia.