Twenty dates in one night felt like a lot considering I’d only been on one date for the last six months.
Let me just come right out and say it.
Online dating is a dumpster fire that no amount of water will ever be able to put out. The focus on judging people’s looks, the insults if you don’t immediately want to drop your panties after one sentence, the carousel of unsolicited dick pics… the list goes on.
So when an ad for speed dating popped up in my Facebook feed, I paused. Past Liz would have scrolled on by, but present Liz was so broken down by modern dating hell that she thought “Why the hell not?” Surely it couldn’t get any worse than someone calling you a fat slut because you took too long to text back to someone’s oh-so-enticing invitation to “lick my ass while I masturbate, babe”.
I mean, when you compare it to delightful interactions such as that, speed dating has to be better right? Right?!
And it was. On the night. But afterwards? I’m pretty sure it crushed me more than any online dating stint.
Speed dating, with a twist
One of the main reasons this particular speed dating event piqued my interest was the way it was structured… In order to gain automatic entry, all speed daters had to bring a single friend of the opposite sex that they vouched for. Now, this might not seem so revolutionary, but I’ve heard stories that make this little format tweak super enticing. Stories like how certain male friends of mine, even while already coupled up, have been asked to attend speed dating nights to both make up the numbers, and to flirt with the women to make sure they feel like they’re getting their money’s worth. Which is just gross.
I figured this idea of bringing along a friend you think is awesome but just not for you would, theoretically lower the douche quotient in the room at the same time as make sure there were equal numbers of men and women, negating the need for decoy ring ins.
Before the event I was super excited. I’d get to meet a bunch eligible bachelors, have chats in person instead of via text, and maybe even feel that chemistry zing that’s missing when you’re dealing with a photo and words on a screen.
I’d get four minutes per date, which I thought seemed pretty quick, but then again it’s called speed dating, not reasonable-amount-of-time dating.
The night of a thousand dates
Okay, so it was only 20 dates, but hell, that felt like a whole lot considering I’d only been on one date for the whole previous few months.
Right up until the event I’d been super jumpy excited but when the night came, that turned to nerves. How would I seem cool in four minutes? How would I know if someone else was interested?
Most importantly: What in the hell should I wear? I’m both a fancy dress and jeans and heels kind of girl so I couldn’t choose which was more “me”.