Dating is always a bit of a gamble – especially when you are a single parent.
After my breakup, I had no intention of ever dating again.
I resolved to find happiness alone, and just raise my daughter, work and live out my days peacefully.
Yeah, that lasted all of six months. Then I decided I was ready to put myself out there again.
And you know what? It’s been a rollercoaster ever since that moment.
There was the guy who told me he was married and “looking for a fling on the side” mid-date.
Then there was the guy who thought acceptable date banter involved showing me endless naked selfies from other women on his phone.
Oh, and THEN there was the charming guy who told me that single mums were a drain on the economy and that it was our own fault that we “couldn’t keep a husband”.
You’ve got to laugh, right?
Just as an FYI, this post is sponsored by eHarmony. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.
Here are six things that only a single parent who is dating again will understand.
1. Dating by stealth.
I didn’t want my daughter to know I was dating again so when I was getting ready for my first date, I made sure to do it after she’d fallen asleep. But my daughter seemed to know something was up and she refused to go to bed. My mum arrived and eventually told her that I was going out with friends. I left the house to the sound of my daughter wailing, “Muuuuummmmmy”.
2. Money is tight.
I don’t have much money to spare now that I have so many bills to pay and finding money for clothes and to spend while I’m out is tough. Luckily, I have a generous friend who lets me raid her wardrobe…and you know what? It’s way more fun than shopping. I go over to her place, have a few wines, try on her clothes, and basically just have a great time.
3. Getting a night off.
My babysitters are my mum, my sister and one professional babysitter I use when I’m desperate. When I’m trying to organise a date I have to text my ‘trio of angels’ as I think of them, to find out if they are available. I love my daughter dearly but sometimes it just feels so good to have a night off from “mummy duties”. And the best part is that it’s totally guilt-free – I can’t be expected to bring a kid on a date now, can I?
4. Emotional energy.
Sometimes I just can’t be bothered going through this dating lark all over again. It takes up so much emotional energy, trying to keep up with all the games. At first I would yawn my way through dates but then sometimes I’d find a gem of a guy who was so much fun and I’d really look forward to our time together. It’s worth the effort when you hit it off with someone.