'My boyfriend introduced me to his mum on our second date. I wish I'd realised what it meant.'

As told to Ann DeGrey.

One of the reasons I fell in love with Marc is because he's a very quirky character. He loves gaming and even has an online "gaming wife". He's obsessed with anything to do with Japan and he refuses to eat anything that comes out of a can. But these were just lovable quirks of his that I adored at the time.

Marc is a writer and makes a good living from home but his salary is small compared to mine, as I'm the CEO of a successful company. But the very quirky characteristic that drove me up the wall is that Marc is very devoted to his mother – too devoted. 

He is the embodiment of the "mummy issues" phenomenon and I have given up trying to compete with a mother who can do no wrong in her son's eyes. 

Watch: Dating, Translated. Post continues after video.

Video via Mamamia.

It was easy falling in love with Marc; he's a delightful mix of charm and complexity. But, from the beginning, his adoration for his mother was very evident. He introduced her on our second date, which I thought was very strange, but I was so attracted to him I just went with the flow.  

I remember cooking dinner for him one evening, pouring my heart into the meal, only to be met with a comparison that left me reeling. 


"This is good, but nowhere near as good as my mum's version. Her version is perfection – I'll ask her to give you her recipe," Marc commented casually. 

Another time he looked at the way I made the bed and declared, "You really don't know how to make a bed properly, do you? My mum's technique is incredible. I'll take a photo for you so you can do the same," he said, not realising the weight of his words.

Here I was, a CEO, accustomed to making tough decisions and leading a company, yet somehow, I found myself being measured against the domestic standards of his mother.

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him I didn't care how his mother does things, but a voice in my head told me to keep my mouth shut if I wanted this relationship to thrive. 

Aside from these challenges, our relationship progressed, we were very much in love but it was definitely strange to discover the layers of Marc's dependency on his mother. In my view, his dependency transcended normal mother-son bonds. 

It dawned on me that Marc wanted a partner with his mother's qualities—someone who could cook, clean, and care for him in the same unconditional manner.

I realised that, having lost his father from a young age, Marc put all his emotional energy onto his mum. 

One particularly striking example was during a visit to the shops to decide which sofa to buy for my apartment. Marc insisted on calling his mother to get her opinion, even though I'd already let him know which sofa I preferred.

There we were, in the middle of the store, with Marc face-timing his mother as she weighed in on our choices. 


It was a surreal moment that showed me just how deeply he relied on her judgment over mine, even in matters of my own home's decor. In hindsight, it was another red flag. 

This pattern repeated itself many times, in various scenarios, from choosing a restaurant on a Saturday night, to planning a weekend getaway. Every time Marc needed to make a decision, he had to phone his mum, as though her input was crucial to our plans. 

He clearly valued her opinion over mine, which left me wondering where I fit into this weird triangle.

As our relationship went downhill, the lessons remained – he even tried to teach me his mum's way of packing a dishwasher. 

It meant that our relationship was missing mutual respect and independence, so I knew it was time to say goodbye to him. 

I guess the final straw was when I was hungover yet I still made him egg and bacon for breakfast, only to be lectured about how his mum's scrambled eggs are "much fluffier."

This really stung and sealed his fate for me – that night I officially ended it and I was shocked he didn't FaceTime his mother to get her advice. 

These constant comparisons with his mum really highlighted Marc's inability to make decisions independently, which is not what I wanted in my life partner. 

He wasn't terribly upset at the time, which makes me think that his mother never approved of me in the first place. 

 Feature Image: Getty.

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