couples

Oh. A man just single-handedly broke up thousands of relationships... and counting.

No, this is not a joke. A man legitimately just broke up thousands of relationships, and he has the receipts to prove it.

Daniel Sloss recently had a two-part special of his stand-up shows released on Netflix called Jigsaw.

Appearing on Conan O’Brien’s talk show, the comedian bragged that his stand-up show had caused “4,000 breakups, 17 cancelled engagements and nine divorces.”

Oh.

The show aired on Netflix on September 11, so it’s only been live for 10 days. That means over 400 breakups have occurred per day that this show is on Netflix. This is an epidemic.

“All I’m doing is asking you uncomfortable questions that you don’t have the courage to ask yourself,” he says.

“It’s curing the bad relationships… by stopping them from existing.”

And if you don’t believe he has single-handedly caused this many breakups, he has posted countless screenshots of DMs which he has received on his Instagram, detailing exactly how Jigsaw contributed to the respective couples’ breakups.

 

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Triple kill. I also don’t know how to crop. Fuck you.

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People are even tweeting Sloss, thanking him for his advice.

So what is this break-up inducing advice?

Sloss begins by reflecting on some advice his father gave him when he was younger: that everybody has a special soulmate, made just for them.

“And even though what he said sounded sweet and whatever, what it manifested into in my seven-year-old brain was this: ‘If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.'”

Sloss says the all-too-familiar message is fed by society as a whole: “Every Disney princess has a prince, every prince has a princess.”

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And thus, even though we may not want to admit it to ourselves, Sloss explains that as a result of this message, we are left feeling as though to feel complete, we need a partner. And to conform, many of us end up with the wrong person, Sloss explains.

“And we’ll force this f**king person into our lives because we’d much rather have something than nothing.”

He continues: “Every relationship is perfect for three months, and here’s why. Cause after three months that’s when you realise nobody else is a jigsaw piece. Everyone else on this planet is as deep and as complex and as individual as you, which means they’ve spent the past 20 or 30 years of their lives working on their own jigsaw puzzle in the same way you have been working on yours.

“You can’t suddenly expect them to give up everything they’ve achieved to suddenly fit into yours.”

Don’t fret, he does admit that there are absolutely healthy and loving relationships out there. But according to Sloss, 80 percent of relationships are fake…

Speaking to The Daily RecordSloss says his show was “never intended to break couples up”, but he also admitted he is enjoying seeing “the joyous effect of it”.

“It’s a love letter to single people, pointing out that most of the time being single is better than being in a relationship,” he told the publication. “Turns out it resonates with people so much they’re dumping their s*** partners.”

Sloss also recalled a time where the feedback he got wasn’t all positive, saying, “A bloke threatened to punch me in Edinburgh last year. He said, ‘I bought my girlfriend and her best friend tickets to your show. She came back and dumped me and said, ‘Ask Sloss’, so what the f***?’”

Well.

May you and your partner be in the twenty percent of couples who are in happy, healthy relationships, according to Daniel Sloss.

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