This is heartbreaking.
A 19-year-old boy from the US has secretly filmed his parents verbally and physically attacking him after having a conversation with them about his homosexuality.
Daniel tries to explain to his Christian parents that he hasn’t chosen to be gay. They proceed to disown him and demand he move out. His mother then physically attacks him, before his father tells him that he is a disgrace.
Here is the video (if you can’t watch, full transcript is below). It is confronting and awful. But it’s real. And it’s what happened to Daniel. His boyfriend posted it online with this message:
“Bros, my boyfriend got kicked out of his home and disowned yesterday. It’s been a really traumatic experience for him, and I feel so terrible and angry that this happened. Fortunately, he’s living with a friend for now. Seems like he can be there long-term until he’s able to support himself.”
(Warning: The content could be distressing for some viewers.)
Although incredibly confronting, we’ve chosen to publish this video for two reasons.
The first is that it’s important we all remember that many young LGBTQI adults are being faced with this kind of reaction from their families every day. We hear so many beautiful stories about parents supporting their children after they come out, that it can sometimes be easy to forget that there are still so many others for whom the experience remains traumatic and isolating. We can’t be reminded enough that this kind of abuse and rejection is still heartbreakingly common for people in the LGBTQI community. Remembering means support is hopefully never far away.
Which brings us to the second reason for publishing this video:
After seeing the way Daniel was treated by his family, people across the globe have collectively banded together to help Daniel. After his boyfriend posted the video on Reddit, a gofundme page was set up to support Daniel as he tries to find his way after being kicked out of home.
The goal was $2000. It reached $38,000 in 24 hours and is still growing.
Daniel’s boyfriend updated the post saying thank you for the extraordinary response:
“UPDATE: Thanks everyone. I cannot believe how much response this has received. Daniel is going to be fine, I think. We’ve had numerous people reach out offering words of encouragement, a place to stay, donations, contacting news sources, and so much more. We are glad we could get the word out about this issue that many people will continue to struggle with. I’m sure we will have the opportunity of helping others the way we’ve been helped. :)”
Seriously, head to Daniel’s gofundme page here and donate what you can. It will prove to him, and many others, that they aren’t alone.
Here is the full transcript of Daniel’s horrifying conversation with his parents:
Mum: Daniel, I want to tell you before I say anything else, that I love you. And I know that you don’t want to believe that. But it is true.
Daniel: I believe it.
Mum: And I have known that you were gay since you were a tiny little boy.
Daniel: Then you would know at this point it’s not a choice.
Mum: And, you have made a choice
Daniel: I have not made a choice.
Mum: Evidently, from what you’ve told your daddy,
Daniel: I have not made a choice. I have NOT made a choice. I have been from the moment I come out of my mother’s uterus, I have been that way. Probably long before I came out of your uterus.
Mum: No. You can deny it all you want to, but I believe in the word of god and god creates nobody that way. IT’s the path that you have chosen to choose. Alright. You believe it the way you want to believe it. I cannot change that.
Daniel: This is the way I’ll put that part: I have taken basic biology and psychology, and it’s determined within the first 6 weeks of birth what your personality’s going to be, and that’s part of your personality and you cannot change it. That’s the scientific proof, not based off of a book.
Mum: Well, you go by all the scientific stuff you want to. I’m going by the word of god.
Daniel: Well, scientific proof trumps the word of god.
Mum: No, it doesn’t in my opinion.
Daniel: Well in my opinion it does because there’s scientific proof.
Mum: I’m not going to argue that point with you. I’m going to tell you that you have chosen that path. We WILL NOT support you any longer. You will need to move out and find wherever you can to live. And do what you want to, because I will not let people believe that I condone what you do.
Daniel: Okay. Well, I will be out by Thursday night at midnight how about that? I’ll be completely out and you’ll never, ever have to see me again.
Mum: If that’s the way you choose it, that’s fine.
Daniel: That’s not what I’m choosing. I’m doing what you’re telling me to do. And you’re disowning me. So that proves how much of a person you are. In fact, can I live in your basement, since it’s your house and you’re my mother?
Daniel: Really? So all of that support you told me about?
Mum: Oh I support you. I don’t support what you do. Because I don’t believe in what you do.
Grandmother: We don’t support your habit.
Mum: And I have a lot of friends that are gay. But they’re friends. They’re not related to me.
Daniel: See, that’s not what you told me that day on the couch. That doesn’t seem very motherly to me.
Mum: And to summon your dad. And to tell him that he’s a racist and that your dad didn’t raise you? Your dad’s gone to bat for you for the last 20 years of your life. That man’s put a roof over your head, he’s put food on you table.
Daniel: That’s not raising.
Mum: You say that none of these people have raised you? You’re full of shit. And you told me on the phone that you made that choice. You know you wasn’t born that way. You know damn good and well you made that choice. You know that this man has done everything he can to raise you and you told me right on that damn phone that that was a choice you made and that he didn’t need to blame himself. So don’t fill these people full of bullshit Daniel.
Daniel: You’re twisting my words!
– Physical altercation (Daniel has said his mother punched him repeatedly in the face) –
Daniel: Get off of me! What’s wrong with you?!?
Dad: You’re a damn queer you fucking shit!
Mum: You don’t tell lies on me you piece of shit!
Daniel: I didn’t! I trusted you!
Mum: You’ve never trusted me! You’ve started more shit with me than anybody. I’ll beat your fucking ass.
Daniel: I can’t believe you’re my own mother! What’s wrong with you people!
Dad: No. What’s wrong with you?
Daniel: NO. What is wrong with you people!
Dad: No what’s wrong with you? You run your mouth on Facebook about me? I’ve done everything in the world – everything in the world for you.
Daniel: I haven’t run my mouth about you at all.
Dad: The hell you haven’t. … You’re a disgrace.
Daniel: I’m not a disgrace.
Dad: Yeah you are.
Daniel: No. I’m not.
Dad: Unfortunately, I’m sorry to say, that you are.