Others have gone so far as to label him a “victim” and multiple news sites have urged us “not to victim-blame” him.
Heaven forbid we call out the actions of a man who murdered his children.
Heaven forbid we be critical of his choices.
If this man murdered two children who were not his own, if he murdered two children at random, if he murdered your two children, no-one (and I mean NO-ONE) would be urging us to withhold judgement.
Nor would we be expected to tiptoe around the fact that what he did was a crime.
But because we live in a society where women and children are still seen as an extension of the men they are related to, and because women and children are often expected to passively absorb the violent outbursts of the men they ‘belong’ to, we’re being told not to say anything critical about this man’s choices.
Instead we’re expected to limit our conversation to polite discussion about depression and mental illness.
But here’s an inconvenient truth: most mentally ill people do not kill others. And mentally ill people are far more likely to be victims of violent crime than perpetrators of it. Moreover, the difference between a man who suicides, and a man who murders his children before suiciding is not how mentally ill he is: it’s how proprietary he is in his attitude towards women and children.
Not only does this attitude often feed in to why these crimes are committed in the first place, but our culture’s proprietary attitude towards women and children also feeds in to the public’s minimising and excusing of these family murder-suicide events.