I once asked my mother why she married my father and her answer shockingly didn’t surprise me. Her marriage wasn’t based on a deep love affair, but instead was a reaction to living under her father’s roof. She got married to get away from him.
She explained that during her childhood my grandfather was a strict man. He was a my way or the highway type of guy. Not really someone you could have a conversation with. It seems that his controlling style is what pushed her to runaway with whomever she could find despite her reservations, which she had when dating my father.
I’d be their best friend and do things that made them happy… (Ben Fordham on being a dad, Post continues after video.)
This story is not uncommon and some of you may have been biting at the bit to get away from your prison you call a home. I can empathise. I couldn’t wait to move as far away as I could from Maui. You heard right, even Maui can feel like a prison when you are under a heavy handed parent or in my case grandparent.
Before becoming a father I promised myself that I wouldn’t raise my children the same way. I’d be their best friend and do things that made them happy. By doing so I hoped to create an open dialogue that would allow issues such as dating, drugs and other hot topics to be discussed more openly. This was going to be edict.
Fast forward five years later and I feel differently now. They don’t understand it now because I didn’t at their age, but when they get older I’d like for them to read this letter one day so they’ll know why I didn’t care if they were happy.
Dear Noweo, Leolani and Welina,
Whether you like it or not my role as your parent is to not only be your friend, but your father. It’s inevitable that I’ve hurt your feelings and that there are certain things you can’t share with me. That’s okay and probably normal. You should have other people in your life besides me whom you can confide in. Individuals that hopefully have your best interest at heart.