Cleaning sucks. I know this. You know this. We all know this.
And Aussie dad blogger Brad Kearns, 27, is all too aware of this sad fact, so he has offered us some nifty and hilarious hacks in the hope you will be able spend less time cleaning, more time Netflix bingeing.
His first tip is to seize on your speed cleaning skills – the ones that crop up in those panicked minutes before you are about to receive a house guest and you realise you’re living in a rubbish tip. Seize them, and never let them go. Your stress-scrubbing can serve you in everyday life.
“Do you know that amazing 15 minutes spent cleaning before a visitor comes to your house, how you can basically achieve more in a single sweep of each room than you can when you actually plan to clean the room? That 15 minutes where everything just works, where you grab handfuls of sh-t from every surface and somehow it manages to end up in room order before your very eyes and end up back into its rightful place in a single round trip. Where you can do the dishes with a single hand while you take out the garbage with your foot. That 15 minutes that is so incredibly productive that you begin to question the rest of your life and the intensity you’ve been living it at.”
The wisdom Kearns shared with his 76,000 followers doesn’t end there. Here are more nuggets for you to absorb.
“I like to have baby wipes in every single room because they’re so f–king handy.” Kearns says he uses them for nappy changes to cleaning bench tops, walls, carpets, toys and even for detailing the car. The only place he doesn’t keep them is the bathroom — because he doesn’t want to be tempted to replace his usual toilet paper.
“Everyone knows it’s easier to let the washing pile for a week and fold it all in half an hour.” And here’s one way to trick yourself into thinking you’re in for less work than you truly are: “have several dirty washing baskets (all the same style) around the house, it will seem like there’s only one.”
“Turn them inside out and get a second meal from every bib.”
“Cling wrap the whole f–king pot and save on dishes.”
Got your kids toys tossed around everywhere with nowhere to put them? “Just line them up and it will look neater.”
He says he applies the above ‘lining up’ tactic with dirty dishes with success. “Same concept, stack those f–kers to the roof!”
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You might think his wife is disapproving of his quick-fix approach to cleaning, but he writes she is on board.
“She’s literally been doing it the hard way all this time. The main thing is that she completely agreed with me. My report card was glowing. Basically said ‘shows great initiative’. Thanks babe.”
Kearns went viral recently when he wrote a post about stepping in his wife’s shoes when she was hospitalised.
You can read his full Facebook post below.