This article deals with an account of stillbirth that could be triggering for some readers.
If you were to see me walking down the street with my two daughters Holley, 12, and Belle, eight, you would more than likely see me smiling. There isn’t a day that goes by since the days they were born that I don’t smile and take a moment to stop and appreciate the precious gifts that they truly are.
I have no doubt that every parent looks at their children this way but when you have experienced losing a child, I believe there is something about this feeling that is deepened. What I know now is that I am one of the many parents from around the world who have learned the hard way that having full term healthy babies really is nothing short of a miracle.
13 years ago I had my first baby boy. My little man Jesse was stillborn. Three years later, I had my third baby, Bo Jessica. Sadly and completely unexpectedly, my baby girl passed away only five hours after she was born.
Up until those two very special days of my life, I had never experienced the intensity of sadness as an emotion. I didn’t know how to say goodbye to them after I’d just said hello. I didn’t know how to function or to do much at all except grieve.
There is absolutely nothing that prepares you for the rollercoaster of emotions that follows the loss of your baby. Confused, angry, sad, frustrated, empty, lost, helpless, shock and disbelief.