New parents, brace yourselves. Because kids can be pretty damn disgusting.

We don’t want to alarm you, but…

Here’s something no one tells you when you are cradling that gorgeous little newborn in your arms: your life will soon resemble an episode of Embarrassing Bodies.

In fact, as an adult, there’s a good chance you’ve conveniently forgotten all about those gross, common childhood and primary school illnesses.

Luckily for you however, I’m about to outline these below.

You are so welcome.

Sorry – but parenthood rarely looks like this.


1. Gastro.

Most parents with a child over three has experienced this. There always seems to be a bug going around.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by COMBANTRIN®. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.

Those bugs range in severity from, “Well, that was uncomfortable” to, “Jesus, I cannot leave this toilet cubicle for the next six hours for fear that I will shame myself and those I love”. Enjoy.

2. Head lice.

Nits. Those little parasites that suck the blood from your children’s scalp for their very survival. Then, through cuddles and hugs, they transfer these little bloodsuckers onto your own head.

Related: MIA: Yep, my kid has nits.

Not only did I spend hours killing and combing these things from my daughter’s head, I also had to double my efforts to eradicate these creepy crawlies from my own scalp. Have you seen my hair? I am like the Paddle Pop Lion. I have a mane of curly, unruly hair and those disgusting parasites had a field day.

No one is immune.

When it comes to nits, no one is immune.


3. Worms.

When you see your child digging for gold in the back of their undies or they have a loss of appetite and are irritable, get them to a doctor. Stat.

Worming medication is a way to eliminate nasties like threadworm, hookworm and roundworm. Just remember that the back to school period is when kids are more likely to get worms, and there might not be any symptoms at all, so be prepared. Those little chocolate squares you can buy at the chemist are always a hassle-free solution.

4. Scabies.

Scabies are tiny mites that burrow into the skin and cause one of the itchiest rashes that have ever itched. It’s spread by direct contact with other people with an infestation.


The mites themselves are too small to see, but they leave behind small red bumps where they start their tunnels. The bumps come on slowly and can be located anywhere, but are often clustered in skin folds.

Related: The common bug that can cut your life expectancy by 20 years.

Good news. You just need to lather your family in a cream from the chemist and wash every bed covering you have in 1000 degree heat and you’ll eradicate these guys.

Yep. Kids are gross.

5. Warts.

I had my fair share of them as a 10-year-old and that is not something I want to revisit.

Even if you freeze those suckers, they may still come back. These almost have to be waited out. They are a virus and if they bleed, be sure to avoid them so you cannot be infected.

6. Tinea.

Oh, I’d forgotten about tinea. This is fungus of the feet, or Athlete’s Foot. It is often brought home by kids showering at school or at their local pool.

Related: Parenting wisdom from Kate Hunter. How could you not click?

It’s a verifiable sauna in those places, which of course, just intensifies the beauty that is the fungal infection. Make your kids wears thongs. Make them. You do NOT want this visiting you in your home or shower.

Got kids? Beware of the dreaded tinea.


These are just a few of the lovely experiences you may or may not have to look forward to. But either way, I think it’s best that you are prepared for your kids to be pretty damn disgusting.

Of course, they don’t mean to be. They also don’t mean to bring these things into your home. But it’s part of life. You did it to your parents; they’ll do it to theirs. And it’s definitely worth the ick factor.

What else have you found that your children have brought home and shared with you? 


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* COMBANTRIN® Market Research August 2014.
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