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Constance Hall: 'I’m getting older. There are more lines on my face. But I wouldn’t change a f**king thing.'


I’m getting older. I see it in my photos.

It means there are more lines on my face but that also makes me more beautiful.

It means I forgive more often and quicker; it also makes me more forgiving of myself and accepting of my daily f**k ups.

It means the gap between tits and vagina is closing but that’s also because I’ve had the honour of little suckling babies attached to me.

It means I stress less about small sh*t and spend more time doing what makes me happy.

It means that sex filled with boys who don’t know how to please me and my own self-consciousness stopping me from showing them how to is behind me. The best sex of my life is happening now and in my future.

It means that I’ve learnt the power of listening, being silenced, humbled into shutting the f**k up and sitting down while someone else teaches me something. And it also means I have a past, a history that I’m proud of and a story to tell when my turn comes.


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It means I don’t waste my time with people or events that bore or upset me. Never again will I sit through a lunch with people who just aren’t my tribe. Life is precious, it’s short; it’s for your people, not somebody else’s.

It means I can just keep scrolling [on social media], even when I don’t agree with anything that I’ve just read. Like Dory [from Finding Nemo] just kept swimming, I just keep scrolling.

It means I fart. Loudly and proudly. They are called “mum farts”. They piss children off and they are a god-given right.

We talk all things Constance on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.

It means I can eat burgers. I lost the battle for the perfect body and that loss was the biggest win I’ve had to date. And now I get to eat cake or burgers or the crusts of my kids’ toast.

It means I own my sh*t. I cry when I need to, I laugh loudly in the post office, I tell people I love them every single time I see them, I kiss and tickle my kids while the washing piles grow even if guests are coming over. I jump in the ocean instead of standing on the sand. In fact, I now understand why so many little old ladies swim every morning with their bathers and bathing caps on.

Because life is to be lived. Not talked about, thought about or watched.

And too much salt water can f**k up your blue rinse.

I am getting older and apart from slightly smaller areolas and outer labia… I wouldn’t change a f**king thing.

This post was originally appeared on Constance Hall’s Facebook and has been republished here with full permission.

Feature image: Constance Hall