Sam talking about his sister, Connie. Image supplied.

I was nervous about intruding at a really painful and emotional time for the family. But Sam, once he's decided he trusts you and he's going to bring you into his circle, he's all in. And so he was. He looks exhausted. How could he not. But his signature energy is undimmed. His light is not out. In fact, he's more fired up than I've ever seen him. The laughter, the tears, the passion.....it's all on display because Sam knows no other way to be. And he has work to do.

My producer Elissa and I sat around a table with Sam and with Connie's best friend Em and another close friend, Lucy, and we spoke about Connie for hours. About her life, her death, what those last days and final moments were like and what the world feels like now, without Connie in it.

With Connie's best friend Em (right) and Lucy (middle)

They schooled me on what not to say: "If one more person says, 'I'm sorry for your loss...." Sam and Em said. But why is that bad? I asked. "Because she's not gone!" they both insisted. “Just because I can’t do another midnight phone-call, doesn’t mean I have lost her,” Sam said. “I feel like she’s in me now…I know it sounds weird but…I feel stronger.”

And please don't call Connie a warrior. “It’s not a journey. It’s not a battle. She wasn’t a warrior,” Sam told me. “She used to say ‘I’m not a fucking warrior Sam, I didn’t choose this battle. How can you be a warrior if you didn’t select? If you’ve been conscripted?" And later, "Don't mythologise her, she would have hated it."

It was a riveting rollercoaster of an afternoon. Sam

Sam and Em told me stories about how stubborn Connie could be and we laughed. Sam has one of those deep, infectious laughs and actually throws his head back when he does it. He told me about the unknown toll on Connie's family, the less than pretty parts of what goes on behind the scenes when someone is fighting cancer, the tricks her family used to keep her motivated and looking to the future and what his future might look like after the death of his beloved Connie Cottonsocks.

The award-winning podcastMamamia Out Loudis doing their first live show. There will be laughs, disagreements and you can meet the hosts afterwards! We’re also donating $5 of every ticket price toShare The Dignityso grab your friends and come along to share the love and laughs, get your tickets here.