As someone who has been through her fair share codependent relationships, and has coached and mediated numerous clients out of and onward from codependent relationships of their own, I have spent significant time educating myself further on the concept of codependency.
If there was a true cure for codependency to be found, I would drink that juice down in a heartbeat.
Codependency, however, is not something that can be cured, because codependency is not a disease, a disorder, a syndrome or an illness.
Codependency is a relationship dynamic and an abusive one at that. Meaning that, in a codependent relationship, there is an abuser and a victim of abuse. Quite often the abusers in these relationships have an underlying mental health issue, such as an addiction disorder or a personality disorder. The victims may or may not have disorders of their own, particularly anxiety disorders or depressive disorders.
But—again—codependency itself is not a disorder. Adding the label of being a “codependent” to someone already suffering from anxiety, depression and/or now-likely trauma not only provides the abuser with an excuse for their inexcusable behavior, it re-victimises and further traumatises the partner in need of intensive self-esteem repair.
Here’s an example of how the “codependent” label was used against me — after I had freed myself of my last codependent relationship.