I am not a religious person.
I was raised in and out of many faiths (thanks mum!), but as an adult, I decided to take a quiet step back from all that is belief-based. That lack of religion though, meant there there was a gaping hole in my vocabulary when it came to expressing shock or surprise: “Oh my God!” feels odd to say when I don’t believe ‘God’ exists.
A while ago, I started to say things like ‘Oh Holy Oprah’ and ‘Praise be to O’ in place of the ‘G’ word, then it sort of stuck. I never really followed Oprah with any kind of fervor, but I considered Her the ultimate religious stand-in for privileged women without an official faith, so using Her name instead of ‘JESUS!’ when I stubbed my toe just seemed funny to me.
Basically, I’m an Oprah fan, but not the kind of fan who would spend money to go to Her show. I respect Her and think She’s brilliant, but there’s a lot of crap in my ‘saved’ list on ASOS and I’ve got bills to pay, so Oprah tickets are just not that high on my list. But would I say no if I was offered free Oprah tickets? HELL NO. I ain’t no dummy.
Sun Super, who I assume were one of the official sponsors of her tour or something, offered two Mamamia staffers VIP tickets to see Oprah this past weekend. I went. I experienced. I breathed her air.
This is what it’s like to pray at the Church of Oprah.
The Holy Building:
The chosen venue for worship was AllPhones Arena. I took my place in line with the other Believers and waited patiently to get inside. I’m not sure of this happens at every church but I was already a little frightened.