"Christopher Pyne shouldn't have to apologise for his marriage equality comments."

I’m sorry, Christopher Pyne. My inconvenient relationship has made an inconvenient problem for you and your Liberal Party frenemies this week.

In a most inconvenient turn of events, a tape was leaked featuring comments you made standing up for relationships like mine. All you said, in a private meeting with 200 moderates at Sydney’s Cherry Bar, was that they were in the “winner’s circle” and that marriage equality could happen “sooner than everyone thinks”.

Cue excitement, cue hope, cue the inevitable disillusionment we’re getting so used to these days.

If the government was the silent partner in my relationship, it’d be a constant state of mindgames and letdowns. Oh wait… it is the silent partner in my relationship. I have to keep on reminding myself that my 10-year relationship doesn’t deserve any fanfare.

It’s a shame, because I’d make an amazing groomzilla. But I digress.


Your former leader Tony Abbott and bunch of other grumpy conservatives seethed with anger. Abbott called you “disloyal”. Malcolm Turnbull faced pressure to “dump” you as the Leader of the House, which is once again really inconvenient.

To put the icing on the (definitely not gay wedding) cake, Malcolm Turnbull was forced – FORCED – to reaffirm that yes indeed, marriage equality is just too bloody inconvenient to deal with right now. Oh yeah, and it’s Bill Shorten’s fault for blocking a plebiscite the very people it affects resoundingly don’t want.

And that’s all for expressing an opinion. What a sh*tstorm.

“I’m very sorry that my comments at an event last Friday have caused such a distraction for the Government,” said Pyne at a local branch meeting in Adelaide on Wednesday, according to ABC.

Mia Freedman sits down with Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and asks him about our government’s stance on marriage equality. (Post continues.)


“I apologise to anyone they have offended.”

A distraction. That’s right – marriage equality is a distraction. According to another shining light of disillusionment, Immigration Minister Peter Dutton, I should get back to my knitting – alongside Qantas CEO Alan Joyce.

It’s an expensive distraction, all right. A $170 million distraction that was still included in the May Federal Budget. I don’t know about you, but I could think of a lot of distracting things I’d love to spend $170 million on. You know, a French chateau or a Balinese villa would be OK.

A non-binding vote asking 23.78 million people for permission to marry my beautiful man just doesn’t sound so sexy, right?

But in all seriousness, it was more than a distraction for lifelong gay rights activist Peter Bonsall-Boone, who died aged 78 in March. In his last days, he told his partner of 50 years, Peter de Waal, “it looks like we’ve missed the boat”.


And we’re not talking about a boat to New Zealand, where marriage equality was legalised in 2013 (and Middle Earth didn’t cave in as a result).

The boat is well overdue here. Instead, we have politicians throwing each other overboard and playing blame games in the media cycle. When a group of people’s rights become too inconvenient for the government to handle, you’ve got to worry.

Christopher Pyne, I know you’re on board. But in an ideal world, you shouldn’t have to apologise for your opinion – however inconvenient it is.

For more from writer Adam Bub, you can find him on Facebook here and Twitter here.