"Dear Retailers. It's not Christmas. It's still October. So back off."

Dear Retailers,

In 59 days time a momentous occasion will take place. A once a year celebration of love, family, food and gifts. I know this is taking place in 59 days time because I had to check it, you see. I had to confirm that it was actually that far away.

The thing is, I was very confused when I went to my local shopping centre and heard a familiar tune playing in the background. The sweet sound of Jingle Bells and when I looked what I saw left me puzzled – decorated windows, baubles, a Christmas wreath hanging from the ceiling and a tree – luckily fake – as high as the roof.

It really threw me I had to tell you, you see because it’s October. October. Not December, not even November. October. But not for retailers.

My google searches should still be about spring planting not whether to water a Christmas tree. Image via iStock.

We haven’t even had Halloween or the Melbourne Cup. We are weeks and weeks away from the first day of summer and many, many, many weeks from holidays. Yet you’d be forgiven for wishing each passerby in your nearest mall Merry Christmas because when you hit the shops, it's Christmas.

The music is jauntily playing; the fake snow is sprayed onto the windows. The boxes of crackers are piled high in noticeable places and the chocolate Santas have filled the place where kinder surprises used to sit, just in reach of small chubby fingers.

No no no no no no no.

It is not Christmas. It is far from Christmas. It not the festive season, it’s not even the lead up to Christmas.

WATCH what these children asked Santa for last Christmas. Post continues after video....

My kids still have months left of school, they have assignments to complete and homework to pay attention to. It is not wind-down time. They do not need this distraction but the problem is that they have it, every time they accompany me to the shops.

Is it Christmas Mama? When is Santa coming? I want a scooter/bike/X-Box/iPad/Barbie car/magic sand for Christmas. Is Christmas tomorrow Mama? Is Santa coming this weekend? I want that for Christmas. I want. I want. I want.

I have months left to plan. I have weeks and weeks left before I should even have to consider ordering a turkey and ham. I am still cooking the odd casserole and haven’t yet taken the doonas off the beds.


My children need to know that Santa is still on spring break, that he is hanging out with Mrs Claus resting in time for the big season still to come. The elves haven’t even returned to the North Pole to start making the pressies.

My Google searches should still be about spring planting not whether to water a Christmas tree. The Christmas decorations are firmly stored in the attic and they are staying there, at least until December 1st.

I have 59 days left and the retailers are eating it away from me prematurely.

I’m not alone in my thinking a series of protesters have taken to the various social media sites of major retailers to make their thoughts about the premature Christmas celebrations known.

"I see that you have once again jumped the gun and, in the interests of the almighty dollar, begun Christmas displays," wrote a poster on the Big W Facebook page.

Another: "Really don't need the kids counting down to Santa this far out," commented a mother.

"Christmas season doesn't start until December, bugger off!"

Selfridges in London opened their Christmas store in August. Image via iStock.

"Crazy. By the time Christmas does arrive we are all so over it."

"Really don't need the kids counting down to Santa this far out," commented a mother.

And a sympathetic early-Christmas hater: "December 1st is when it should happen. Feel for the mums and dads of littlies having to explain how many sleeps till Santa comes."

At least we aren’t as bad as the Brits. Selfridges in London opened their Christmas store in August.

What I would like dear retailers, is for you to give me at least until after the Melbourne Cup before you entice my children into your world of bling and baubles. I am desperately trying to slow down my life, and hang onto their childhood as much as I possibly can.

Starting Christmas in October is just not on.

Do you think that the countdown to Christmas starts too early?