entertainment

Here's what all those deliriously happy Christmas posts REALLY mean.

On a day where the attempt at (pretend) perfection can reach new heights of social media BS, I think we need to reveal what the top 10 most popular Christmas hashtags really mean…
#whitechristmas – when your regular spray tan lady is booked up because you forgot to text her & you have stay polar bear skinned till your new years eve booking.
#grateful – when you score a carpark thats less than 2 km from the front of  the shopping  centre.
#happyhour – that one delicious oh so precious HOUR on Xmas day between when one side of the family have LEFT & the other side of the family SHOW UP…
#mistletoe – no no no this should read #cameltoe because everyone is doing their Xmas shopping in #activewear
#activewear – the new uniform for Boxing Day because – dressing up after putting on a lunch like that? Aint no body got time for that…
#joytotheworld – how everyone feels when Justin Bieber brings out a Christmas Carol duet with Mariah Carey #Xmasfail
Are you really sorry though, Biebs?
#ChristmasCracker – those drunk sexting texts your ex sends you every Christmas after a day of drinking with his family & having #fomo seeing all the happy “couples”.
#stockingstuffer – what your butt looks like in that #KK copy dress after you bought something tipsy online (again) that doesn’t fit your butt (again).
#happyholidays  – the ones where you dont have to offend your divorced parents by going to the “other” ones place for Xmas lunch because you decide to run away & have Xmas lunch at an RSL in Wagga instead.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
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