'Every parent has an ‘I Don’t’ list at Christmas time. Here’s exactly what’s on mine.'

I was driving home last weekend from an end of school year playdate for my 9-year-old son. Having spent 45 minutes trying to coax him away from the snack table and into the car, I dared to utter the words to him that no child likes to hear when they are in the car and very nearly home. 

"I just need to stop at the shops.”

I braced myself for his loud and emphatic protest as he strongly objected to my polite request, I had to silently agree with him. Given how close it is to Christmas, any trip to any shop has the potential to end... badly. The queues. The volume of people, the rush. The sensory overload. I had only done a grocery shop the day before I reprimanded myself for my poor planning, because here I was, once again, needing to go to the shops again, knowing full well that this would not be my last trip for the week, anyway. 

About this time every year, is when I start to mentally form my own 'I Don't' list. That is, the list of things I'm not taking on, opting out of, or setting boundaries around, just to get to the other side of the break. It's all in the name of lightening the mental load, where convenience (and my mental health, as the one steering this ship) is a blessing. 

With holidays on our doorstep and Christmas around the corner, the mental load of any parent is exacerbated, and it feels like a lot. The list of things we need to do, meant to do, should do extends beyond what is realistically achievable. There is little to be festive about when the emotional labour has many of us feeling grinch-like and grumpy. 

Between meal planning, decorating, present shopping, present wrapping, holiday planning, socialising, end of school and end of work, the relentless pursuit of a perfect Instagrammable, Christmas is exhausting. 

So, inspired by Holly Wainwright’s original ‘I Don’t' list I decided to share my own Christmas version. These are my don’ts for the season.

1. I don't brave the shops more than twice a week during the break. It takes a brave soul to navigate Christmas shopping car parking, so getting last minute groceries delivered through the delivery app DoorDash is one of the easiest ways for me to avoid the stress (and actually get to shop their deals on certain items at certain times). I have resolved this year to cheat the holiday season to stay organised and avoid peak chaos, plus I've got more time back to spend with my husband and son. Gaining time back is king this time of year for us, which is why I'm a DoorDash fan. It's so convenient for last minute essentials (like visitors dropping in unannounced, where a cheeseboard or throw-together dinner wouldn't go astray), I'll just order those top-ups to be delivered to my door, and feel like I win at life. Crackers, cheese and nibbles for the platter, chicken and a few ingredients for an easy dinner, wine, and my son's favourite lollies – delivered in as little as 45 minutes. You can pick where you order from too, like your local grocers or the bigger supermarkets. Also, importantly: happily avoiding the store's self-checkout and being told that there is an unexpected item in the bagging area for the 17th time, makes me feel especially triumphant and a little big smug about my resourcefulness.

2. I don't ever say no when people ask if I want help. This year we are hosting Christmas at our place. In the past I have been reluctant to delegate any part of the day. Instead, setting myself up to fail by setting myself unrealistic expectations that I am the perfect host. I do not especially enjoy cooking at the best of times so why it is that I think I am capable of making sugar crusted chicken in blankets is quite beyond my understanding. Last week Mum asked me if I would like her to bring dessert and my response was a categorical yes. My sister went on to state that she could bring a salad to which I responded, “potato please.”

3. I don't do Christmas lights. I love everything about Christmas lights and love the sparkle, I love the music, I love the displays. I will happily drive around and look at other people’s homes and marvel at the contribution and effort families make to bringing Christmas joy to those of us who don’t have the will or motivation to do the same. I thank the Christmas stars for these kind of people.

4. I don't feel worried if I cannot fit something in before finishing work for the year. I work in an industry where people are compelled to spend the last few weeks leading up to Christmas scrambling to catch up for a drink, a coffee or lunch. I will do what I can with the time that I have but I don't feel bad/guilty/incompetent if I cannot make something work.

5. I don't feel guilty about outsourcing. Whether it's hiring a local to do the lawns, getting DoorDash to deliver my groceries, or having my son join a carpool to run him somewhere. I am also fortunate to be in a position to have a cleaner each fortnight. I used to hide this fact, it felt frivolous and indulgent. A cleaner affords me more time with my family and my sanity is safely restored.

6. I feel no guilt for my lack of effort with the elf. Five years ago I fell in the love with the romantic and magical notion that a cute little elf, which sits on the shelf would bring my child unequivocal joy. It still does, I just did not have the foresight to realise the effort it would take on our part. We are probably a few years away from saying a final farewell to elf and so this year not only will my husband remain on elf duty, but I will also not be influenced by Pinterest. Our elf will quite literally remain as his namesake states and that is, he will be on the shelf. There will be no elf baking cakes or writing letters. No props, costumes or themes and elf snow angels made out of flour. I feel no guilt for my lack of effort.

I am giving myself that gift of saying no to things this year. And in that, managing the holiday hustle load feels less overwhelming, so that I can enjoy the magic of Christmas and not lose my mind in the process.

DoorDash is the perfect way to stay organised these holidays, so cheat the holiday season and order holiday essentials to be delivered. Download the DoorDash app or head to their website.

Alcohol delivery with DoorDash is available in NSW and VIC only. Always drink responsibly. 

Feature Image: Supplied.