"I accidentally knocked my brother out." 12 women share their Christmas Day disaster stories.

There's something important we all need to remember this Christmas.

You see, we're all a little guilty of having high expectations at this time of year. We spend hours circling shopping centre car parks for the perfect gifts; we scour through markets for the best seafood, and we spend weeks decorating our homes for just one day – December 25.

It's a lot of effort for one day, right?

But the truth is, no matter how much we prepare and plan, nobody's Christmas looks as good as it looks on Instagram.

Here are the things Australians never say at Christmas. Post continues below.

In fact, most of the time, Christmas is a... disaster.

From Christmas dinner mishaps to family arguments, there's always a chance something will go wrong.

But never fear, you're not the only one having a not-so-perfect Christmas this year.

We asked the Mamamia community to share their very best Christmas Day horror stories from years gone by.

Here's what they had to say:

1. Katie.

"My sister was put in charge of getting prawns last year. She decided she couldn't be bothered to go to the fish markets. We had no prawns on Christmas Day. The end." 

2. Sarah.

"When we were younger, we went away for Christmas and Mum put all our presents in a suitcase and locked the suitcase so we wouldn't peek... but she forgot to bring the lock."

3. Laura.

"When my sisters were five and three, they both had chickenpox on Christmas Day. They were isolating before it was cool."

4. Gabriella.

"My brother and sister got up at 1am the night before and opened all of their presents from Santa and then fell asleep with the big pile of mess around them. My poor mum cried."

5. Zoe.

"When we were kids, I gave my brother a bleeding nose and concussion on Christmas morning. He was out of it all day. My family didn't like me very much that Christmas."

6. Briony.

"Every year, my family have a big Christmas lunch and invite both sides of the family (who clash). They also seem to invite a bunch of strangers... not sure where they come from.

"After lunch one year, my dad moved away from the crowd to smoke a cigarette. He was joined by his brother's new girlfriend, who secretly smoked.

"While they were smoking, my dad's brother David approached my mum and told her: 'I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your husband is having an affair with my girlfriend.' (For the record, he was NOT having an affair, it was just the booze.) 

"My mum laughed, and David got very upset that she wasn't taking him seriously. He dragged her out the back to where my Dad was and told her: 'See, affair!'

"When they returned to the party, David made an announcement that he and his girlfriend were leaving the party because his brother was trying to have an affair with her. Everyone kind of laughed, and it was very awkward. David doesn't come to Christmas anymore." 

Listen to Overshare, the podcast you really shouldn't be listening to. Just like the best group chat with your mates, Overshare is a bit smart, a bit dumb and a bit taboo. Post continues below. 

7. Tanya.

"A few years ago, my mum decided she would host the extended family Christmas at her new house. On Christmas Eve, the fridge she'd had for 20 years and was still apparently 'thriving' broke... with all the Christmas food in it. We spent Christmas Eve carting the food in cars to a friend's place so it would keep for the next day."

8. Claire.

"My grandfather always cooked the roast lunch for Christmas. The first year after he died, we all pitched in. But on the day, the oven wasn't heating properly because seven different people kept opening the oven door to check that everything was all right with it. Because the turkey wasn't cooking, we decided to use the BBQ to cook the roast veggies... but someone put the veggies in the BBQ alongside the baking paper, and the baking paper caught alight and the whole BBQ blew up. We ended up eating cold meat and salad."

9. Rebecca.

"My nan spent DAYS building and decorating a super fancy ornate Christmas cake with fondant icing Santas and Christmas trees. It was a masterpiece. We had a rule in our house growing up that no food was allowed below chest height because of our food obsessed family dog Monty. He'd jump up and snatch anything left on benches or tables. 

"Nan forgot about said rule and left the cake on a low bench while we were all downstairs having drinks on Christmas Eve. Mum went back upstairs to get something, and we just heard a guttural shriek. Monty had taken a HUGE chunk of cake. He'd massacred it. Nan was devastated, mum was embarrassed, my sister and I were secretly giggling because we hated Christmas cake and knew Nan would have made us try it. It was quite the event. Mum ended up 'cutting around' Monty's bite marks and the family was still forced to eat the salvaged pieces of wilted cake on Christmas Day."

10. Natalie.

"My dad was a cleaner and had to work Christmas Day. One of his clients was a sports club, so one Christmas he asked my brother and I to help him Christmas morning so he could finish early. At the time, I was 18 and my brother was 17. To thank us for helping out, my dad decided to treat us to some vodka slushies... at 8am. Yep, despite the fact that my brother was underage.

"We turned up to Christmas lunch completely sh*tfaced. My grandparents were mortified. My mum was really annoyed. We thought it was the best thing ever."

11. Mina.

"I got food poisoning from dinner on Christmas Eve. I spent most of Christmas Day lying in bed feeling sorry for myself. What's the point of Christmas if you can't eat anything?!"

12. Chloe.

"On Christmas Day, there was a huge disagreement between two family members just minutes before lunch was set down on the table. The reason behind the fight was so miniscule that I legitimately can’t even remember what they were arguing about.

"Things escalated, and it got to the point that the neighbours called the police because they were worried about the non-stop yelling. In the end, the police showed up, and after all the drama, we gave up on Christmas lunch. We ate McDonald's on the way home."

Feature Image: IMDb.

Pseudonyms have been used throughout

Do you have a Christmas Day horror story? Let us know in the comments section.