For the sake of my kids.
It’s something no parent wants to think about.
The idea of someone else raising my children, it rips me apart.
But the sad reality is that tragedies do happen and it’s best to be prepared.
I’m currently going through the process of choosing a guardian for my kids. In the event that well… you know… I want to know that my children would be looked after by the right people. I
It’s heart breaking even thinking about it but I needed to know that if I wasn’t here my kids would be cared for, loved and raised using the same parenting values I try and abide by.
It's not easy though. There are so many things to consider when making such a huge decision.
It's not just about who loves the children the most or who spends the most time with them. You need to think about things like relationship breakdown, finances, ageing and longevity of the arrangement. It's a task that I had been putting off for ages simply because it was so damn tricky to navigate.
What you don't realise until you get into it, is that naming a guardian for your children is also a task fraught with family politics and one where peoples feelings can potentially get hurt.
At one point I mentioned to my father that we were considering my aunt and uncle as potential guardians. The look on his face said everything: "Why wouldn't you choose someone in our family?" Suddenly people feel hurt if you don't choose them as your preferred option even though your reasons may be perfectly valid.
While I was in the thick of confusion I came across an article on MouthsOfMums which spoke about the common mistakes people make when choosing guardians. It mentioned things like basing your decision on finances alone, choosing a couple (i.e. you choose your best friend and her husband but then something happens to your friend. Do you want her husband raising your children without her?) and thinking that family is the only option when it comes to care. It made me think about my own situation and I became aware that I too was trapped in the common errors.