Over the past week or so, all my Facebook friends have been using that app that tells you which words you use most in your status updates. Before I did it, I knew what my two most-used words would be: the names of my two kids. Yep. There they were, in giant letters. Also frequently used: kids, school, child, mum.
There was nothing there about politics or world issues or books or even TV. My husband’s name just made it, in tiny letters. Sorry.
It hit me in the face: how boring have I become?
Had Facebook been around before I had kids, I can guess what my most-used words would have been pub, vodka, argument, celebrity, g-string… that kind of thing.
Nearly all of my status updates are hilarious things that my kids say. (I mean, I think they’re hilarious. I’m dying to give a few examples, to show you just how hilarious they are, but I’m going to restrain myself.) Nearly all of my photos are of my gorgeous kids. (Yeah, they really are gorgeous.)
To all my child-free Facebook friends, sorry for the constant cute-kid spam.
I had friends over for lunch on the weekend. Smart, successful people who don't have young children. I let my five-year-old son spend 15 minutes quizzing them on dinosaur facts, yelling, "Incorrect!" at them every time they got one wrong.
Sparkling dinner-table repartee, indeed. Sorry, guys.
I have to admit, my conversation over recent years probably hasn't been that interesting for people who don't have kids.