Direct Action Everywhere, an animal rights group in the USA, recently went to a supermarket. While there, they picked up a random chicken from the fridge, put it in a human-sized coffin, and performed an elaborate chicken funeral.
A chicken funeral, that is equal parts the most sombre/glorious piece of Youtube entertainment you’ve ever seen:
The whole ceremony goes for about 7 minutes, and it is honestly worth every second (but if you can’t watch right now because work/kids/the bus feels like an inappropriate place to mourn a chicken, we’ve highlighted the best parts of the video underneath):
It all opens with a very solemn looking young man in a suit, standing in the poultry section. He looks straight into the camera with his pained, meaningful eyes, and says:
“In memory… Of a life lost.”
Then he selects a random chicken from the shelf. This lucky bird will get the burial she deserves:
The solemn man in the suit then takes the specially selected chicken over to the deli – presumedly the only place in the supermarket with the right ambience for a funeral:
Then – and this is probably the best part of the whole thing – someone stuffs up. An over-eager chicken mourner jumps in front of the camera and proudly declares, “WE HAVE A DREAM,” before saying “Oh shit” and quickly jumping out of the way. The boss-man in the suit looks furious.
The chicken is then tenderly placed inside a cardboard coffin:
A comically large cardboard coffin:
A eulogy is then offered on her sensitive and important life, that was filled with emotions and wonderful memories. (Which, fyi, is pure speculation. This particular chicken might have been a massive bitch). Less sympathetic shoppers and workers continue on with their day, clearly not understanding the magnitude of the tragedy around them: