This post deals with domestic violence and might be triggering for some readers.
My mum is getting married next week and she’s the other woman.
She cheated on my dad when I was seven years old. I don’t blame her.
She cheated on my dad when I was 11 years old. I don’t blame her.
The man she’s marrying divorced the mother of his child last month so he could marry my mum. Again, I don’t blame her.
Watch: Emotional V.S. Physical Affairs. Post continues below.
My mum is getting married next week, to her first-ever boyfriend. They have reconnected after she divorced my dad while he was also unhappily married.
At this point, you probably think I am just finding excuses for my mum. You’re probably calling her a cheater and a homewrecker. Well. She was both. But hear me out, please.
Like every other Asian woman in China, my mother married young.
She didn’t get into university like her sister did so she started working as a manager at a hotel in Jinan, China, where she met my dad. Mum used to say, “Your dad was very nice to me when we first met, he’s good at cooking and very crafty. He used to fix things for my parents (my grandparents) and cook for my mum all the time.”
However, when my mum was pregnant with me at seven months, my dad hit her for the first time and kicked her in the stomach. And that was the start of 18 years of mental and physical abuse at the hands of my dad.
I remember my mum picking me up to sit on her lap. She was wearing sunglasses because my dad gave her a black eye.
I remember finding random doctor reports, X rays in the drawers of my mum’s broken bones.
I remember my mum crying on the floor trying to slit her wrist with a CD.