Divorce can be incredibly messy – especially when kids are involved.
From working out who gets what to making a formal plan for the children, there’s a lot to consider.
But for one newly-single mum, her daughter’s surname has even come into question during the divorce process.
Posting to parenting forum Mumsnet, the anonymous mum has questioned whether she should change her one-year-old daughter’s surname to her maiden name.
And one thing’s for sure – the internet was divided.
“I’m planning to change mine [surname] back and I don’t see why she has to have a different name to me for the rest of her life, when her father has basically decided to leave us because we’re too much hassle,” she wrote.
“He has said to me he finds being a Dad stressful and he wants to focus on himself.
“I’m sure though that he would be offended by the idea and I know I need his permission.”
The mother also said that she had considered a double barrel surname for her young daughter.
Instead of changing your name when you get married, why not just merge them?
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“I love being a Mum and I don’t see why I have to lose our family name connection because I married the wrong man,” she said.
Responses to the anonymous mother’s question came in quick and it’s fair to say the commenters were divided.
Many believed she should just change the child’s name regardless.
“If he’s really said he wants out because he wants ‘Me Time’ and you’ll be the main carer of DD [darling daughter] then yeah why shouldn’t she have your last name,” one person responded.
“If he doesn’t want to be a Dad (tosser) then will he really give a shit what her name is?” another wrote.
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Top Comments
If mum is going to be the primary carer, just from a practical perspective it makes sense for her child to have her surname. It's not about reflecting her own marital status so much as reflecting her child's family status. Dad has rejected her as too much stress. Mum loves her and wouldn't want to be without her. Mum's surname it is!
Interesting case. If it was just a ‘normal’ divorce, and dad was still a part of the kid’s life, I’d go for the double barrel. If dad has completely left and has no part of the kid’s life, I’d change it to the mum’s name.