entertainment

This nanny paid $10K a week to look after famous kids.

Is there anything better than a nanny who looks after famous kids and then tells the world exactly what it was like?

Well, cronuts obviously. And the smell of freshly cut grass on a summer’s afternoon.

But apart from that? It’s the Tell-All Nanny.

This time, we’ve got ourselves an Australian one, too.

Philippa Christian from Melbourne has been nannying for the rich and famous full-time for 15 years. Philippa began working for an Australian sports-stars family (she had her photo taken with Shane Warne this week in Australia…. IS THIS A CLUE?).Then she entered the inner circle of special super nannies that celebrities use.

She can’t say exactly who she has worked for, obviously, but she did give a vague but enticing list of categories: presidents, Middle Eastern royalty, supermodels, movie stars and the sixth-richest man in the world at the time.

We can’t tell you who she’s worked for because she can’t tell who she’s worked for, but we can’t really say she definitely hasn’t not worked for these people. Angelina Jolie. President Obama. Ooh, maybe Miranda Kerr! Ummm, Kate Middleton? Ooh what about Madonna, do we think Madonna? How are we feeling about the Beckhams?

Anyway. She’s had at least one glowing review for her services:

The perks of the job could be a $900 tip at the end of the evening, free clothes and makeup and earning around $10,000 for one week’s work. Philippa says that the job isn’t for everyone though, VIP families nannies face gruelling work hours and diva demands.

Here are just a few of her anecdotes…

“You might find yourself in a department store in New York, where the doors have been closed to the public and you and your family are the only customers. My errands can include accompanying kids to movie sets, or taking the family’s private jet to pick up their favorite candy from a store on the other side of the country.”

“It astonishes me how much the clothes I’m given are worth,” she says. “In the past 15 years, I’ve built up an impressive wardrobe. I’ve worked for American families who book me in to have my eyebrows waxed or nails polished without even asking me.”

“Remember, these families are extremely high-maintenance. When I worked for Middle Eastern royalty, I was under orders to bath the eight kids three times a day, soaking them for exactly half an hour and then showering them to ensure they were always presentable. The children weren’t allowed to wear the same outfit twice in a year and I had to keep track by filing worn clothes in a separate wardrobe.”

As if dealing with nannying the children wasn’t hard enough, Christian says there’s so much more to deal with.

“One week an actress might have her children on a strict vegan diet, the next week she’ll fly in exotic meats from around the world for their dinner. I worked for a model who ordered me to put her teenage daughter on a diet even though she clearly wasn’t overweight. It’s difficult because I have to follow orders, but the child’s welfare always comes first, so I compromised by making tiny changes like cutting her bread into thinner slices.”

Now let’s go back to speculating about the identity of her celebrity children. Go.