real life

Dear celebrity men: Please be more original in your choice of mistress.

English model and television personality Katie Price is divorcing her husband of four years, male stripper Kieran Hayler, because he cheated on her with the nanny.

Ring a bell? Of course it does. Because this is only, oh, the most predictable celebrity cheating tale of all time.

On Sunday, 39-year-old Price told The Sun she was “gutted” to learn the affair had been ongoing for a year.

“I was basically paying her to f**k my husband,” she said. “They had sex everywhere except in our bedroom, they even did it in the kids’ bathroom. When I confronted him, he denied it at first, even when I said she’d admitted it.”

It’s a story we’ve seen so many times, it’s almost as if the sex-with-nanny equation is decreed in an unspoken rule book for celebrity men. Chapters may include perfecting the blue steel gaze; negotiating more pay than any female co-star; and sleeping with the nanny (extra points if she’s 15 years your junior).

There was Hollywood actor Jude Law, who cheated on his fiance, actress Sienna Miller, with the nanny.

It was 2005 and the then-32-year-old publicly confessed to an affair with Daisy Wright, 26, who was caring for his three children from his past marriage to Sadie Frost.

He was pushed to confess and apologise after Wright sold her diary, detailing the fling, to media. “I just want to say I am deeply ashamed and upset that I’ve hurt Sienna and the people most close to us,” the statement from Law read. He said the affair happened when he was filming a blockbuster in New Orleans. Miller and Law were separated a year later.

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Jude Law and Sienna Miller. Image via Getty.

There was actor Ben Affleck, whose (seemingly perfect) marriage with actress Jennifer Garner ended in 2015 - a devastation publicly announced a day after their 10-year wedding anniversary. A month later and there was a flurry of speculation that Affleck, then 43, had been sleeping with (you guessed it) the nanny - 28-year-old Christine Ouzounian.

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Affleck denied the allegations vehemently. Ouzounian continued posting pictures of the two of them together to social media, including one of her riding in a private jet with Affleck to Las Vegas at a time when he and Garner were still a union.

In an interview with Vanity Fair last year, Garner said her marriage was over before Ouzounian's involvement, however she called the affair "bad judgment" on Affleck's part and admitted "he's still the only person who really knows the truth about things".

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. Image via Getty.
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There was Ethan Hawke, who was married to Uma Thurman for nine years - they had two children together - before he slept with the nanny and everything ended in a blur of headlines and the we've-seen-it-all before cycle of denials and admissions.

Now, he's married to 'the nanny' Ryan Shawhughes and has since confessed he married Thurman too young. (... He was 28.)

In an interview with Mr Porter in 2013 Hawke said: "sexual fidelity can't be the whole thing you hang your relationship on. To act all indignant, that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn't faithful to you, is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went grey."

Ermm. What?

Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke. Image via Getty.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger had a secret love child with his nanny, Mildred Baena, while he was married to Maria Shriver.

Robin Williams divorced his wife of 10 years Valerie Valedi in 1988, a year after hiring nanny Marsha Garces. He married Garces next.

In 2015, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale separated after 13 years of marriage amid allegations he'd been sleeping with the nanny, Mindy Mann.

It's tired. It's cliched. Can't you fellas think of another storyline? One which doesn't involve hiring a young, attractive, attentive woman to care for your children, and then jumping into bed with her?

Male celebrities of Hollywood: It's time to change it up a bit.

Better yet. Perhaps it's time stop cheating on your wives? If only there was a rule book for that.

LISTEN: Should I warn this women about her cheating partner?