"Stop taking your children to Fashion Week, idiots."

These children belong in preschool, not on the Front Row.

The streets of NYC are flooded with the supremely fashionable this week. The world’s most sartorially-gifted people are being snapped by Tommy Ton’s lenses, sitting front row at the catwalk shows of the best American designers and sipping Moet, dah-ling, at the painfully fabulous after-parties. Sounds like just the kind of place one should take one’s child, non?

Er, non.

But when have celebs ever let common sense or the social mores of normal people get in the way of pimping out their children like they would a new It-bag? Exactly never, that’s when.

READ MORE: Oh Kim, did you really think we wouldn’t notice you cropped North out of this picture? 

Kim Kardashian has led to charge because of course she has. North West, 19-months old, now has two runway shows under her tiny bejewelled belt. She sat front row for her dad’s collection for Adidas (the one where Kim wore what looked like a Spanx bodysuit), and hit the fash scene again for Alexander Wang’s showing. She was perched next to US Vogue’s Editor-In-Chief Anna Wintour no less.

Here she is with Beyonce, looking more stylish than I ever have:

North West with Beyonce and Kim.

And again – her outfit is probably worth more than my entire wardrobe, and maybe my car:

North just checking her mani.

Anna Wintour also has the pleasure of sitting next to the Beckham children at their mum Victoria’s NYFW show. One can only imagine how pleased Anna is to share her throne with people who may or may not be able to wipe their own bums yet. (Side note: Harper Beckham, 3, also spent a good two minutes picking her nose, hopefully she flicked it on Anna’s cashmere knit.)

Harper looking… pleased.

Look, I’m not bitter (I am) or jealous (I am), but these bloody children do not belong at Fashion Week. Not even French children, who basically emerge from the womb as style icons.

There are many reasons I think it’s bullshit that celeb-spawn are exponentially popping up on the front row.


There’s the fact that they are much more chic than I am, and it’s not ideal when a 19-month old style-shames you.

I also think it’s a problem that teeny, impressionable children are being exposed to a world that is completely dictated by image (like North West isn’t getting enough of that from the Kardash-Klan already). They should probably be making balls from their own snot or something instead.

These children will have their whole lives dissected by the media, and they have years and years under the spotlight ahead of them, why not let them just be kids for a little longer?

READ MORE: Jamie Brewer just made history at New York Fashion Week.

And it’s silly that these kids are taking up the spots of industry people who actually need to be at Fashion Week because, oh you know, THEIR JOBS.

Fashion Week is an industry event and tickets to the big shows are basically impossible to come by. The very few spots available should be taken up by far-shion people who need to be at these events to report on them, see the collections to decide what is going to go into stores for the next season, and distill the major trend so us plebs know what the hell to wear each year.

READ MORE: The autumn you need to know about now. 

I’m sure your heart isn’t bleeding for the fashion journos and designer store owners of the world, but it’s a job like any other job, and bringing babies front row diminishes the whole point of Fashion Week.

But, I am willing to admit this picture of the Beckhams taking a selfie is pretty frikkin’ cute.

That’s all.


Do kids have more important things to do than attend runway shows? Tell us what you think.

What more of North West? Right this way…