"My $13 runners cost me my big toenails."

In the not-so-distant past, I was one of many Australian expats living it up in Europe, enjoying an extended holiday and having the time of my life without a care in the world.

However, after a few months of travelling, while I was still mid-holiday and sleeping on a friend’s couch in London, those cares started to catch up with me. To give you a bit of background, in the weeks prior to this point, I’d been backpacking around continental Europe and I’d started to feel rotund, lethargic and just bleurgh in general. (I blame the gelato.)

Being the health-conscious (re: slightly vain) person that I am, I made an executive decision to put the gelato away and get back into exercise. Joining a gym was out of the question and since I’ve always been quite fond of running, I took to the pavement to get those endorphins pumping, inhale some ‘fresh’ London air and hopefully improve my fitness while I was at it.

4 ways to make running a less boring experience.

But before I could even think about attempting to huff and puff my way around East London, I needed to invest in a pair of running shoes.

My pursuit of the cheapest running shoes money could buy led me to Primark - the UK's #1 department store for low quality goods. My standards were set very low so I jumped on the first style of sports shoes that crossed my path. As it so happened, they were also the cheapest pair of trainers they stocked, retailing at a very affordable £7 (approximately $13).

I tried on the biggest size they had available, which was a 37. Yes, I am usually a 38 and yes, they were a little firm but I thought, "what's one European size between friends?" and bought them anyway.

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When I got home, I did notice again the trainers were too small, but they were also just uncomfortable in general, so that took precedent. I started running a few times a week and the whole experience was underwhelming due to my fitness levels (of lack thereof). Nonetheless, I persevered, using my sore feet as an excuse to lie on the couch with my feet in the air for a few hours while watching reruns of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Slowly but surely, the pain in my big toes started to outstrip the overall pain of my feet. However, I still chose to ignore it for as long as possible because I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that maybe purchasing those £7 Primark trainers wasn't the wisest decision.

I'm quite fond of black nail polish (and the colour black in general) so my toenails had been painted black during this entire experience. I am also ashamed to say I had just been reapplying extra layers over the existing polish each week, so it had been a while since I'd actually sighted my unpainted toenails.

When I eventually decided to remove said polish, my nails remained black. This was less due to the fact that I had so many layers piled on, and more due to the fact that my big toes were bruised to within an inch of their lives.

Runners take note: THIS is how you deal with blisters

We're all familiar with the phrase 'black is the new black' but let me assure you that black is NOT the new black when it comes in the form of excessive toenail bruising. Let me also just say, without going into too much detail, that the toenail had actually begun to detach itself from the nail bed, meaning I could pretty much cut the whole thing off if I wanted to. However, I was quite attached to my bruised and battered toenails so I allowed them to hang on for dear life for as long as possible.

At this point, I did take myself to the doctor who politely informed me that while this is an issue for runners (long distance, marathon types), it is not usually an issue for someone of my fitness level. She also politely suggested that I invest in a new pair of (bigger) running shoes.

Unfortunately there was no quick fix to this unglamorous beauty conundrum. I waited politely for my existing toenails to fall off, which revealed gorgeous little 'stubs' beneath. Then, I was forced to wait another 6 months for these little 'stubs' to flourish into fully grown, adult toenails. After a few weeks of covering up with boots and trainers that actually fit, I decided to whip out my Birkenstocks again and embrace the situation as an excellent opportunity for small talk.

In case you're wondering, no, I did not take any photos. But if you'd like a visual, you could try searching 'bruised big toe' on Google images.

Just don't search on an empty stomach...

Have you ever been injured by a pair of shoes?