By BERN MORLEY
Hoo-hoo. Pee-pee. Pecker. Peach. Va-jay-jay. Wee-wee. Front Bottom. Doodle. Fanny. Who-ha. Willy. Yoni. Tee-Tee.
All the above are legitimate names that young children have been encouraged to refer to their respective vaginas or penis’ as. By their parents.
I get it, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been known to tell my boys to “STOP touching your doodle!” on numerous occasions (Newsflash, boys NEVER stop touching them) but a PEACH? A YONI? WTF is that?
Why do we try and “cutesy” up these words? Is this to protect them or us? Should we simply be referring to these parts of the body exactly as they are? As a vagina and a penis.
I had to research a fair bit when writing this and let me tell you first up, it’s mighty uncomfortable plugging some of those words into a Google search engine. Here are few disturbing responses I found on the World Wide Web:
“My daughter will eventually know it is a vagina but right now it is a snatch” HUH?!
“I grew up calling my vagina my “Tee-Tee” which I found out later meant “Twinkle Twat.” I thought it was adorable!” – DOUBLE HUH!?
“My 4 year old has been calling his private part a ‘mule’. That’s what daddy taught him…apparently that name/title is what they have always called it in his family.” – Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the trifecta of WTF.
And if anything, is it causing a problem when a situation arises? Take my friend for example. Her son started school this year and he had an unfortunate fall. One that included him falling scissor like onto one of those rounded timber poles. Straight onto his penis. He was crying but settled quickly enough by the time his mother got the call. My friend tells me the school rang to see if it was okay if they had a look at his penis, to make sure that there was no damage.