11 difficult scenarios all brunch addicts experience.

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Brunch seems to be having a Jennifer Lawrence moment right now. One minute everyone wanted a piece of it; then out of nowhere came the surprising backlash.

It’s hard to pinpoint when the resistance to everyone’s favourite hybrid meal started, but there’s a good chance Julian Casablancas is to blame. In a now infamous interview with GQ, The Strokes’ frontman declared he was leaving New York because “I don’t know how many, like, white people having brunch I can deal with on a Saturday afternoon.” (Okay, touché.)

Then, the NY Times' David Shaftel served up his op-ed 'Brunch is for jerks'. "[Brunch] has become a twice-weekly symbol of our culture’s increasing desire to reject adulthood," he wrote.

Ooph. Who'd have predicted baked eggs and French toast could be so contentious? Regardless, the brunch backlash doesn't seemed to have reached Australian shores just yet, and those of us who remain hopelessly addicted to it (myself included) know these 11 situations all too well:

1. Decision anxiety. Always.

Sunshine, coffee, conversation - brunch should be a joyful experience. However, it can be emotionally taxing, particularly when it comes to ordering your meal. Do you go for a light, sweet dish like bircher museli, or hit the savoury spot with Eggs Benedict? Do you have your tomato and basil on sourdough, white bread or rye? And don't get me started on the coffee vs. juice vs. smoothie vs. champagne (if that's your idea of brunch) conundrum.

Knowing the repercussions of your choice can impact the rest of your day, if not weekend, makes the decision even more stressful. If you get it wrong, it's utterly heartbreaking, and it's only compounded by...

2. Food envy.

Nothing sours brunch with friends like the moment your food arrives... and you clearly made the worst choice. Nobody ever says it outright, but everyone knows. You smile because that's just good sportsmanship, but deep down the pain is real.


On the other hand, if you win the ordering Hunger Games, the secret wave of smugness you experience only makes your towering pile of pancakes taste better. Victory is sweet.

Speaking of food envy, here are some of the best brunches The Glow and Mamamia teams have eaten recently...

3. Lining up.

Queuing for a cafe table on a Saturday morning feels wrong. And a little embarrassing. It's the weekend - you should be getting the most out of life, not sitting in a gutter waiting to be summoned by a bearded waiter. And yet, when you've seen that café's delicacies paraded all over your Instagram feed for the past week, and your friends have insisted you simply HAVE to go, 'it'll be worth it' becomes your mantra.

4. Cafe FOMO.

If you live in a big city, there's probably a new brunch spot opening every week, each one hipper and more delicious-sounding than the last. And even though you're a full-grown, independent adult with more important things to care about... you can't fight that fear of missing out when everyone you know has visited Time Out's latest recommendation, except you.

5. Goodbye, savings.

Recently, The Cut asked 21 New York women to confess the dumbest thing they spend their money on, and 23-year-old Allie spoke a truth all regular brunch addicts know: “Fucking brunch. Fucking brunch is the reason I will never own property.”

If you want to ruin your day, try calculating how much cash you've dropped on brunch this year. I'm fairly certain I could construct an inner-city apartment using all the eggs, corn fritters and smashed avocado I've consumed in the past six months alone.

6. Loyalty issues.

Although your adventurous stomach wants to eat at ALL the brunch spots, your loyal heart feels a pang of guilt each time you abandon your friendly local, where the baristas know your order and you don't even need to glance at the menu.


7. 10am or bust.

You view invitations to go out for 'breakfast' earlier than 9am as a hostile move, unless there's a good reason for it (eg. your dining companion is a parent, or it's their birthday. Even then...). Also, cafes that don't offer all day breakfast: what on Earth are you doing?

7. 'Lunch'? What is 'lunch'?

You haven't "gone out for lunch" on a weekend in months. Maybe even years. You have distant memories of something called a 'sandwich', but you're pretty sure they could never compare to the breakfast bruschettas you throw back every Saturday morning now.

9. You speak fluent 'menu'.

When you go to brunch often enough, you become acquainted with the curious language of cafe menus. You know that parmesan isn't shaved, it's "microplaned". Avocado isn't spread, it's "smashed". Hell, you even know what labne is these days. Look at you, fancy pants! If anyone asks, the answer is yes: you're practically bilingual.

10. High eggs-pectations.

Being served poached eggs that are firm and pale in the centre is unspeakably disappointing to you, tantamount to a punishable crime. 'Soft unless otherwise specified' should go without saying.

11. Overdoing it.

We've all done it. You walk into a cafe and every single item on the menu speaks to you. You start with a coffee (obviously), and chase it with a juice because it's a hot day. Then you slam down a big brekkie, with a side of haloumi, and when you hit up the till to pay for it all you impulsively buy one of the giant homemade muffins displayed on the counter.

Look, we're only human. It happens. You know what you have to do: cancel the rest of your plans and lie flat on the lounge.

What are your favourite brunch foods?

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