Is there anyone in the universe who enjoys going to their other half’s work functions?
The office gossip is even less interesting than your own, the in-jokes sail over your head, you have to feign interest in something you likely know nothing about and the boss is a terrifying doofus.
But it could be worse. You could be going to your partner’s end-of-year work bash and it could be full of women who look like this:
That is the overwhelmingly young and gorgeous Brit Rose Nichols, an accomplished professional model and the partner of Chris Mayne, who plays AFL for the Fremantle Dockers.
And that, my friends, is a dress that you CAN’T WEAR SPANX WITH.
Here’s another incredible dress that wasn’t made for anyone who needs Shapewear:
The red carpets of the two big football awards’ nights, the AFL’s Brownlow Medal and the NRL’s Dally M Awards dinner were held in Sydney and Melbourne last night, and the red carpet was not what you would call diverse.
If the photo galleries on all media outlets are to be believed (Mamamia’s included), footballers of both codes like exactly the same kind of woman – young, thin, preferably blonde, absolutely drop-dead good-looking, and right at home in a cut-out J’Aton.
That’s a type, and both codes seem to share it.
There is nothing wrong with that. Young, attractive men at the peak of their powers are going to want to date other attractive young people. And everyone looks their best at the office party.
But as anyone who has ever had more than a passing acquaintance with the real-life world of WAGs will tell you, that’s not the end of the story.
There are WAGs who are over 30 – shock, horror – who have children – noooooooo – and busy jobs.
There are WAGs who would rather eat a box of hair(pieces) than bare their midriff to a pack of paps.
WAGS, perhaps, like Barbara Smith, wife of Maroons legend Cameron Smith, who last night at the Dally Ms wore what many of us might wear on a night out with their husband – a pair of nice pants, some pretty heels and a lacey top.
Getting trussied up for a big night out gets more complicated as you get older. When that theme party invitation thuds into your inbox, you are no longer pumped about the 15 ways you can pull off Tight And Bright. You are, instead, desperately thinking of where else you need to be.
If you have recently had a baby, your invitation anxiety might involve working out which one of the four different sized clothes currently hanging in your wardrobe might include something, anything, that passes for Formal, and will hold in your breasts.