weddings

Bridesmaid asked to lose weight for friend's wedding, wonders if friend is an a**hole.

Worst friend ever? We are going to say, yes.

Dear the Internet, my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding on the condition that I lose some weight. I am a normal sized human, but I’m worried my friend might actually just be a giant asshole?

In very important internet news, a young woman was excited recently when her close friend asked her to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. She was, quote: “over the moon”.

Want more? The seven stages of being a bridesmaid.

The pair met in college and had been friends for more than a decade, but the invitation came with one major proviso; the young woman would have to lose some weight.

Bride-to-be (a “very organised, go-getting, type-A person” who orchestrated her own Parisian wedding proposal) just wanted her five bridesmaids to have a “consistent look”, apparently.

The term “bridezilla” is offensive and it gets thrown around a lot so I won’t use it here — but ‘sociopath’ does spring to mind.

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“A few weeks ago she started dropping hints about my weight to me,” Twoxweddingthrowaway writes. “Now, I’m not overweight. I gave birth to my daughter in November… I’m already back to my pre-baby size 10-12, but I have a large chest as I’m still nursing.”

At first it was a few subtle hints, she writes.

The bride-to-be invited her along to the gym (she already had a membership) and then she started questioning her dietary choices saying things like; “Are you sure you wanna eat that? The wedding will be here before you know it.”

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Ergh. And as if that wasn’t enough, then bride-to-be took it to the next level:

“Yesterday, she took me aside and directly said to me that she wants me to try to drop a ‘dress size or two’ before the wedding because she wants all of the bridesmaids to (her words) ‘have a consistent look’ and I am ‘noticeably heavier’ than the other bridesmaids,” Twoxweddingthrowaway explained.

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Quite rightly, our Internet friend stood up to the bride (you go, Internet friend!) and told her she was being insane unreasonable.

The bride disagreed.

“I had to make a decision about whether I wanted ‘to be part of the wedding or not’ and that, according to her, I needed to think ‘long and hard about whether this is worth throwing our friendship away for’ as though I was being unreasonable. I’m so upset. I’m in tears right now.”

As many distressed young women do, our friend then looked to cyberspace for support… and found it on Reddit.

Her post on the site received more than 200 comments and the general consensus was that bride-to-be is just the worst, obviously.

Users did have some helpful hints for her though.

They offered measured responses:

“I believe the correct response would be to call her and tell her: ‘I thought about what you said the other day, and I was hurt and upset. I realized that someone who is willing to kiss off a friendship because of ridiculous physical standards isn’t the type of friend I thought I had. Since I will not be going on a crash diet and risk endangering my baby’s supply of milk to appease your sense of aesthetics, I think it best I withdraw from the wedding party. I have yet to decide whether or not I should withdraw as a friend as well.’ “

Sassy comebacks:

“Send her a link to a modelling agency so she can choose a bridesmaid that better fits her brand’s image, then spend the money you would have spent on the shower or on something super cute for your baby.”

“If you want to be passive aggressive about it, you could dye your hair bright blue. Or just point out that mismatched bridesmaids are actually a really hot wedding trend right now, and while you would normally completely alter your appearance to please her, you’re concerned it will make her look like an incompetent bride if you match the other girls too much.”

And some run-of-the-mill supportive outrage.

“God what the actual fuck? I don’t understand this. “Consistent look?” You’re not a piece of furniture decorating the event. She can get some mannequins if she likes.”

“She is not your friend. Stop talking to her and go find better friends.”

You said it, Reddit.

What do you think? Was this bride being OTT or was she within her rights?

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