It was then, as I stood up next to the bride at the alter of the church in the country town we grew up in, with sweat dripping down the backs of my thighs, squished into a $699 satin body con bridesmaid’s dress the exact colour of my skin tone, that I decided she and I would no longer be friends.
That’s right. On the happiest day of my best friend’s life, I broke off our friendship for good.
While she was performing the wedding dance, that $1100 worth of ballroom lessons bought her, I was ordering an Uber and eating as much cake as I could fit in my mouth before getting the hell out of there.
No, it wasn’t a decision I made lightly, or that came easy. Far from it. Deciding to end things with my oldest and closest friend was a slow and extremely time consuming process. Little by little, I held my tongue and told myself to stop being silly as she chipped away at me.
Then one day, I realised I could no longer stand being around her. If I’m honest, I can trace it back to the moment I put the custom-made ‘will you be my bridesmaid’ bracelet on my wrist.
When I first found out my friend’s partner had proposed to her, I was so thrilled. Being the first girl in our friendship group to get engaged, it was just exciting for all of us as it was for her. We all wanted to be a part of making her dream wedding come true, myself included.
But as the months and weeks until the wedding drew closer, achieving this dream became increasingly impossible. Not just because the bride kept moving the goal posts, but also because it became less about her dream, and more about pulling off the perfect performance.