An open letter to the woman who shamed me for bottle feeding.

I got a really nasty email yesterday from *Erin* blasting me for telling people that I bottle fed my first baby.

My first baby wouldn’t feed from me – in fact he refused my breast altogether – and I persisted for weeks.  What was I to do, starve him? I don’t understand why women are so mean about this topic.  He is a perfectly healthy nine-year-old now. I breastfed my second son – with no worries at all.  Calling me despicable names because I bottle fed isn’t cool.

Here is the email I received from *Erin*:


I heard you speak at the Sydney Baby & Toddler Show on the weekend, and I was absolutely disgusted in what you had to say. Are you seriously for f*cking real?  Not only did you tell the world that you bottle fed your baby, you promoted the use of formula feeding.

There is never a good reason to use formula ever ever ever.  Do you even know what is in that crap?  It is garbage.  It contains nothing good for babies and is full of chemicals, genetic modified materials and I’ve even heard it has crushed sea shells in there.  And YOU fed it to your child.  I’m sure you could of tried harder to breast feed. Every woman is capable of breastfeeding.  Every single woman. Your lack of a reasonable excuse is no excuse at all.

It is my opinion that formula feeding is a form of child abuse.  In fact, formula is POISON.  It is so inferior to breast milk. Why not use a breast milk bank instead?

You have a public profile, you should be teaching mothers about the benefits of breastmilk, hearing blatent cop out’s like ‘I don’t have enough milk’ it total bullshit. C*nts like you make the world a sad place.

I think formula should be banned.  People like you are responsible for the decline of human health.  Formula is not natural.  It kills brain cells.  It is wrong.  You are wrong. I will be making a formal complaint to the World Heath Organisation about what you said publicly. This won’t be the end of it.

Get a life

Erin ********


Yes, ladies and gentlemen, please read the email I received from Erin last night.  To be honest, at first I thought it was a joke.  Yes, I did speak at the Sydney Baby & Toddler Show, and yes, I did tell people that I bottle fed my first baby.  And I make no apologies about the fact that I don’t consider formula to be a bad word.

At all.

Because you see, my baby was fed.  He put on weight, he was happy and contented – and excuse me, Erin, but isn’t that the job of a mother?


And even though I did try to breastfeed my baby – so what if I didn’t, and just put my baby on formula?  Isn’t it my choice as a mother to do the best thing for me, my child and my family?  And whose business is it of anyone else’s how I fed my baby?

"Breast isn't best. Fed is best." via Getty Images.

So Erin, here is my letter to you!

‘Dear Erin,


Unfortunately the email address you supplied doesn’t work – so I hope that you will see my letter of reply.  I am so pleased that you could breast feed your children.  That is wonderful.  You know what, I couldn’t feed mine.  So I ask you, what should I have done.  Let him die? Slowly starve to death perhaps?  Would that have made me a better mother?

No.  I think not.

Erin, What if I’d had a double mastectomy, or was a foster-parent, or a single dad? Would you attack me then and call me the ‘C’ word?

I haven’t taken what you’ve said to me personally.  I’m a big girl.  But I fear that if you say something like your vile email to a brand new mother that is formula feeding her baby and is doing the best she can, that you will shatter her already-fragile confidence.  You will make her feel guilty for something that isn’t her fault.  And new mums need all the emotional support they can take.

A fed baby is a happy baby.  And I support FED babies.  I really give no f*cks as to whether they are fed from the boob or bottle.

So Erin, get off your high horse, off your ‘breast is best’ bandwagon and take some time to think about things from a different angle.

I await your reply.’

This article was originally posted on the Stay at Home Mum and on Facebook.  It was re-published here with full permission. 

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