By MAMAMIA ROGUE
If we’ve learnt anything from 1950’s heartthrob Neil Sedaka (other than that, when faced with the choice between a rockstar called ‘Neil’ and a rockstar called ‘Elvis’, fangirls will always choose the latter) it’s that breakin’ up is hard to do.
Breaking up is awkward, sad and – unless the feeling is 100% mutual (i.e. you have both begun your respective break-up speeches at the EXACT SAME NANOSECOND) – someone’s feelings will inevitably end up hurt.
It’s a messy process.
But, luckily, there’s an app that’s trying to change that.
It’s called BreakUpText. You just enter some key details and the app fires off a text to your old flame telling them that you want out. All of a sudden breaking up via a text that you’ve written by yourself seems intensely personal, doesn’t it?
It’s pretty simple to navigate. You just tell the app the gender of your partner, whether your relationship was serious or casual and why you’re ending it.
For that last bit, there are three options: you’ve lost interest, you’ve found someone new or…
You have been eaten by a bear.
Yes, you can even (tastefully and respectfully) let your soon-to-be ex know that you have been eaten by a bear. Which is good, because that just happens so often and sometimes all you want to say is: “It’s not you, it’s me. And the fact that I’m sitting in the stomach acid of a large carnivore waiting for a butch huntsman to cut me out. And, well, I wouldn’t want to seem ungrateful!”
Images: Apple Store
If you’re interested, choosing to break up with Plan Fuzzy Wuzzy generates the following response:
Remember when you asked what I was going this weekend and I acted kinda weird? It’s because I was going hunting with some of my friends and I didn’t know how you felt about hunting; you seem like the kind of sweet girl who loves animals. Anyways, I don’t know how I feel about hunting anymore either. I kinda got myself in a bad situation while out camping. I guess you could say I’m in the belly of the beast. The bear to be exact. It’s not too bad, just dark. Pretty quiet. Oh, and my cell phone battery is going to die soon so don’t text back.
Would you use an app to end a relationship?