"Don't judge me, but... I threw my child's birthday on a school night."

“I’d been throwing dates around in my head because his birthday fell on a Monday….”

All I’ve heard about for months in my house is bowling. All my son can talk about for the big 10 is a night out bowling with his friends. So I did some research and found a place nearby and got some prices together to take him and about ten of his friends.

The weekend after his birthday we were going interstate for a wedding so I knew it couldn’t be then.

I didn’t want to throw it the weekend before because I think having a birthday early is bad luck. But I also didn’t want to have it after we came back from interstate because I felt like that was too far away from his actual birthday.

"So I decided to throw it on the day. A Monday and a school night."

So I decided to throw it on the day. A Monday and a school night. It actually ended up being significantly cheaper because of the date. So I got to save a bit and I thought the sentiment of having it on the actual day was nice. For me it was a win-win.

But apparently not all of the other parents of my son’s friends agreed with my reasoning, which I expected. He gave out the invitations at school about two weeks before and I assumed a few people would pull out because of the whole school night thing.

Except what I wasn’t expecting was what happened a few days later. My son came home from school and I could tell something was bothering him. When I pressed a little further, he began to cry and eventually came out with it.

One of his school friends had told him that “his mum was stupid". My son was incredibly upset that has friend had said that about me. But even though I know kids are kids and I wouldn’t take what they say to heart, I knew this had to have come from somewhere else. I knew it didn’t come about for no reason.

"One of his school friends had told him that 'his mum was stupid.' My son was incredibly upset that has friend had said that about me."

After some more questioning I found out that my son’s friend had only repeated something he heard his mum saying at home. She had been having a discussion about my son’s birthday being on a school night.

Whether knowingly or unknowingly, her son had overheard and ran to school the next day to repeat it to mine. I don’t know this woman very well. We wave hello and goodbye to each other at school when we go to pick up our sons. They are our only connection.

But I was hurt that she would openly judge me and say nasty things about me in front of her son. I was even more upset that my son had to listen to that sort of talk from his friend.

The birthday went by and about half of his friends (the closest ones) did come to his birthday. Most of the parents understood the predicament I was in. Yet I couldn’t help but confronting the woman who had said nasty things about me the following day, after school.

It didn’t go down how I planned, she proceeded to yell at me and tell me what I had done was ridiculous. I’m not sure I want my son to spend any more time around her son after she has spoken to me in that way. All I wanted was to celebrate my son’s birthday and for him to be happy. Instead it has ruined a friendship of his and made me feel horrible.

What would you do if you were in this mums situation? Would you ever throw your child's birthday on a school night?

If, like this reader, you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

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